Can't Lose You

Part One

"Clarke..." Bellamy pleads after Clarke releases him from their long-awaited hug. They were standing by the gates of Camp Jaha. She wanted to leave, she couldn't bare the thought of what they had done. And neither could he, but he thought, just maybe, he could if she were there with him.
"Bellamy... I just..." She was crying now, tears slowly falling down her cheeks. Bellamy wanted desperately to take his bruised fingers and gently wipe the tears away, but he held back, not sure how she would feel about the gesture.
"I know. But Clarke, we can get through this together. Please don't leave." He begged, his voice cracking as he said the word together. Clarke's eyes shifted up to his eyes, studying them as her brain contemplated what he was begging of her. His eyes met hers, she could see how desperate he was for her to stay, just by the darkness in his already dark eyes.
Eventually, she agreed. Telling herself that if she needed, she could sneak off while he was sleeping. She followed him into camp as everyone stared. They followed Bellamy and Clarke as they walked together toward the center of camp. "They're staring, Bellamy." She told him, though he was already well aware of all the judging eyes. "Ignore them." He said as he placed his hand on her lower back and followed her inside. Octavia saw them walk in, and rolled her eyes, walking away from where she and Lincoln were standing.
"O..." Bellamy pleaded. She ignored him, still holding resentment for Clarke after the Ton DC bombing. And on top of it, Jasper wouldn't even look at Clarke, or anyone for that matter. Monty was in the corner with Harper, where they both hand their faces in their hands. Clarke could hear Monty vaguely speaking about how Jasper would never talk to him again. Her heart ached, she knew she couldn't handle this. "Bell..." She started. Bellamy already knew, so he grabbed her hand and led her to a room where there would be no reminders of what they had done.
"You should stay in here tonight, I can bring you food and water." He suggested, standing protectively by the door, as if he expected someone to barge in and threaten to harm her. He wouldn't let that happen. Clarke shook her head in agreement as she sat down in the corner.
Bellamy took it upon himself to leave her alone, but he never left the hallway where her room was. Just in case.

"Please just talk to me, O." Bellamy begged. Octavia had been ignoring him all night. "I have to go." She said. Lincoln stopped her, "Hear him out, Octavia." He said. His voice soothing her, and reminding her that it wasn't Bellamy she was mad at, it was Clarke.
"I'm sorry, Bell." She said as she looked him in the eyes. Her apology making Bellamy feel a million times better, but the weight of what he and Clarke  had done was no where near lifted. He excused himself to check on Clarke again, for the 10th time in the last 20 minutes. "Eventually you're going to have to forgive her, Octavia." Lincoln said as he placed his lips to her temple. "Why? Why should I?!" She asked. "Because, isn't it obvious?" He asked. She was confused at first, but as she watched her brother walk towards the room where Clarke was, she realized. "He cares about her." She admitted. She had pretty much always known that her brother cared about Clarke more than the rest of the delinquents. But she never had imagined her asshole brother actually falling for someone. She thought back to only a few days ago when Clarke had ran towards Bellamy with everything she had, and Bellamy embracing her as if his life depended on it. She knew what that hug meant, but knew neither of them would ever admit it.

"Knock, knock." Bellamy said as his knuckles softly clinked on the door. "Yeah." She said. He took that as an okay to enter. "How are you?" He asked, as he stepped inside and shut the door behind him. "I told you before Bellamy, it's hard being here, seeing their faces." She said. She had been crying. He knelt down to where she had been sitting for the last hour. Taking a seat next to her, he leaned against the wall. "I get it, Clarke. I do. But we had no choice, you know that. You have to remember all of the people we saved, all of our people." His words calmed her slowly, her body seconds from full panic mode just before. "Maya helped us Bellamy, she helped keep you alive. And Jasper, Jasper loved her." Bellamy's eyes fell with Clarke's words, reminding him of the dark haired girl who was the reason he was still alive. And now, because of them, she was dead. "We may not be able to forgive ourselves Clarke, but we can forgive each other." He said. She nodded. "I forgive you." She said, repeating his earlier statement about her needing forgiveness.
"Can we just stay in here for awhile? You and me?" She asked. His body tensed, he wasn't sure why. "Of course." He said, and they did for the rest of the night, neither of them sleeping much.