This Thing Called Love (ON HOLD INDEFINITELY)

chapter twenty

NOW

It has been an entire week since I've last spoken to my other half. It's been an entire week since I felt his arms around me. It's been an entire week since I heard his deep, dusky voice. It's been an entire week since I've seen his crooked, yet devilish grin. It's been an entire week since I've seen the love of my life.

I kept reminding myself that this was what we needed, what I needed. But how could that be true when my heart was slowly bleeding out every day?

I passed by happy families every day, on my way to work or dropping Olivia at school. I witnessed mother and fathers with their young children. I had that. Even couples made me bitterly jealous. Their love struck gazes to each other reminded all too much of Tobias. I had that too.

They say you should never depend on a person for anything. Yet, the worst part of losing Tobias was how complete he made me. With him, I felt like I could do every and anything. Now I'm left alone with just memories and regrets. I should have listened. I shouldn't have depended on him for my happiness. Now I'm empty.

When Tobias was absent after he got news about not being able to box, I knew he was still going to come back home eventually. All the shit he put me through didn't stop him from returning home to Olivia and I. But now... Now I was the one that wasn't returning to him.

I would love to say that my decision was the right choice, that it was necessary. But was it really? I was miserable. Olivia was miserable. She missed her daddy. She missed Lucy. She missed her home and I was the one that tore that all away from her.

So I dug myself into my work. I finally had time to concentrate on my performance. No more police calls informing me that Tobias needed to be bailed out. No more frantic calls from Grant or even from Julian, who became Tobias's go-to-guy when he needed a quick stitching up. Most of all, no more calls from Tobias himself.

Since the night of the gala, I hadn't seen or spoke to Silas. He was either not in his office or in a meeting or wasn't in the building altogether. I was starting to believe he was upset with me or disappointed that I left on one of the most important nights for his company. He was understanding, though, and compassionate. He knew I needed to be with my best friend as she gave birth to her first child. So why wasn't he willing to meet with me?

One day I had enough. I saved the project I was working on and left my office, walking straight to Silas's. Jane saw me approaching and quickly hung up the phone. She got up from her seat, running in her too tall heels to catch up to me.

"Reign, you can't go in there," Jane said, waving her hands in front of me as if that was going to stop me.

"He can't keep hiding from me, Jane. I did nothing wrong!" I hissed, half hoping he could hear me from the inside of his office.

"No one said you did. He's just extremely busy with-"

"With his meetings. Or his trip to Asia in a couple months. Yeah, I've heard it all," I retorted, rolling my eyes. "What happened to him being there for his employees? What happened to his office always being open? Because I'm feeling pretty fuckin-"

Silas's door opened. I took a deep breath, trying to recompose myself. The first thing I noticed was the clear bags underneath his eyes. It the short few years I've known him he never had bags. He always took care of his health and urged others to do the same. What was going on with him? First, he was shutting me out and now this?