That One Subscriber

Chapter One: Dan Howell.

(Warning: mention of suicide)

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Dan Howell, age 24, depressed as ever, was hunched over his laptop in his bed eagerly waiting to watch Amazing Phil's new video on YouTube that read, 'My new Boyfriend'. Dan felt a mix of feelings, like "PHIL IS GAY???" But mostly sad because he had been a fan of Phil forever and he thought he always had a chance with him, but let's be real, what chance would a subscriber have with a YouTuber? He really needed some cheering up because of what happened earlier with his parents fighting again so he put on Amazingphil to try to make him feel better but then that video popped up. Dan pressed play and immediately saw the ball of happiness. The video always started with a warming 'Hey guys!' With a little wave gesture. "He is so cute". Dan thought. "So today I've wanting to share something about my personal life , it's sort of a touchy subject and..." Phil went on. "... I'm gay." Dan smiled at the screen. "When I first knew I was gay, I was 15 and my friends and I were playing truth or dare by a clubhouse near my house and my friends dared me to kiss this guy named Alex. At first I was like 'no I don't roll that way' but when i did kiss him, I didn't feel weird. It felt, right." Dan was blushing so much when he witnessed what just happened in front of him. "So later everyone went home and um Alex was staying at my house... My parents weren't there and uh- one thing led to another and yeah-... But that's not why I made this video! *soft chuckle* I have a boyfriend!"

Dan's blushing and smiling turned into a frown and soft tears.

He didn't even wanna watch the rest of the video because he might end up in tears, but he did because of his curiosity.

"I have been talking to him for quite sometime now and I think some of you might be familiar with him... *Phil motions someone to come on camera* it's PJ!" PJ came on screen and hugged Phil and started talking to the camera but Dan didn't wanna hear it. Dan closed his laptop and put it in the counter next to him. Dan couldn't take it. Phil was the only reason to him to be alive and that bloodsucker PJ took Phil away from him. Now that Dan knew that now he had zero chance with Phil,he felt hopeless. Dan, with tears in his eyes, walked to his bathroom to scramble in the sink drawer to find some sleeping pills. He finally find the multicolored pills mixed in with all the miscellaneous crap. He popped it open and whispered, "One for my pain, one for my stupidity." He kept doing that until it was half empty. "And for not doing this years ago." He chugged the rest of the bottle down. Dan's vision was already blurrying and he managed to wobble down the hallway and fell to the ground. He whispered, "Goodbye, Phil." As his blurry vision turned into complete darkness.