Jane the Potato

Chaos

Jane opens her eyes. The darkness consumes her, she can't see anything. Where is her bed, her home? She looks down. She is a potato! Then she realizes something else. Her eyes aren't human eyes. They're the eyes of a cold, lifeless potato that have a destiny to be deep-fried in oil and be consumed in the form of the perfect french-fry.

She lays in silence until the ground above her breaks, hours later. A large hand emerges from the heavens and grabs her by the neck. Jane tries to scream, but no sounds come out, as she is a brown, elliptical vegetable with no mouth. She looks up at the face of her attacker. It's her own mother!

"You're a big one, huh?" the mother asked the potato. Jane's mother licks her lips. "Mmm, I can't wait to put some cheese and butter on you and consume your delicious flavor."

Why did she ask me if I'm a big one? Jane thought. I am a potato, I clearly can't answer her. Was that a rhetorical question? No, no, people don't ask potatoes rhetorical questions. By the time Jane woke from her thoughts, she was being put in the oven!

"There, there. Nobody can hear you scream when you're a potato in an oven," the mother said warmly. The mother then ate her baked-potato daughter, loaded with bacon and sour cream. She knew all along. She always hated her daughter. Now she can finally get away with murdering her. All that was left to do was to wait for her other child to turn into a carrot, and consume his juicy, orange, form.