What the signs need more than anything

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Aries: A reality check

Taurus: A line of coke and a karaoke machine

Gemini: A slap and a mood stabilizer 

Cancer: A box of tissues and a box of chocolate 

Leo: A room without mirrors 

Virgo: A Xanax

Libra: A backbone

Scorpio:  To be escorted into hell

Sagittarius: To sit still

Capricorn: A joint

Aquarius: To f**king listen

Pisces:  To just.... chill for a sec

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