Life With Ashton Irwin

Ashton's Point Of View

"You can tell me anything, I'll still love you."

I couldn't tell her about my scars because it only made me sound weak, so I said the first thing that came to mind. "I like bracelets, okay? Just leave me alone!"

Before I realised I was running out of her house and down the street taking the corners to get to my house. What had I done? Have I hurt her? Is she okay? That's when all my thoughts stopped cramming my head because my phone buzzed. It was Khloe.

Jen:
Hey, Ash? Are you okay? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...
I love you
X

That text made me feel awful and guilty. She didn't have anything to be sorry for, I overreacted. I had stopped cutting a while ago, so why was it such a big deal for me? Why didn't I have the guts to tell her?

Me:
There's nothing you should be apologising for, I overreacted, sorry.
Yh I'm fine.
I love you more then you think
X

I texted her quickly just so that she wouldn't feel bad. After all she didn't do anything at all. I love her and I don't know why she even likes me. I'm just a mess, she deserves so much better. I wish I was good enough for her. Why couldn't I be the perfect boyfriend? I don't even celebrate our anniversaries, it must look like I don't care at all. But I do, I really do.

That night I found the blade that I had been hiding for years and held it in my hands, dragging it across my wrists. It wasn't Khloe's fault, it was mine, for not being good enough for her.

That's when I saw her, in my room. She had followed me and she was just standing there staring at the blade in my hands and the blood.