Eyeliner and war paint (adopted by black veil brides)

Chapter Twenty Five

Liz's PoV

I can't believe I freaked out again. I've gotta stop having panic attacks. Seriously, I'll end up passed out in a ditch, alone and dying.

I sighed loudly, scaring Fred slightly. He snuggled into my neck slightly and I let him hop onto my finger. He jumped onto my guitar and I started to play 'Roger Rabbit' by Sleeping With Sirens.

I begun to sing 'lead me out of the dark' by Crown The Empire when the floodgates opened. Tears streamed down my face in misery and fear. My forearms were itching and I had the urge to drag my sharp piece of metal through the skin.

Pull yourself together. This is the exact reason nobody will ever love you. You are wet and cowardly.

"STOP!" I cried out loud, clamping my hands over my ears.

I hugged my guitar to my chest and cried more, for what felt like hours. The rain started pouring down and my hair got soaked with my clothes.

After a while, the sobs stopped and I started to walk home with Gabe and Fred, my tears still mixing with rain.

I got back to the bus desperately hoping everyone was out. My prayers were unanswered and Jack, Alex, Frank, Tony and Mike were all sitting in the living room.

"There you are, we were worried sick!" Tony said, running over to me and tackling me into a hug,even though I was soaked and crying.

"What's up? You've been crying" Jack said.

"Well done, captain obvious" Alex said, elbowing Jack in the side.

"I'm going to get changed, then we can go to the hotel" I said, hurrying to my bunk. I plugged my headphones I and listened to a few songs while getting changed.

Someone tapped me on the shoulder and made me jump as I was mouthing the words to 'Caraphernelia' my Pierce The Veil.

"What happened? Tony told me you stumbled in, crying and soaked looking miserable. You then come in here and listen to songs about misery and heartbreak" Vic demanded.

"I guess I just had a moment, really, it's nothing" I lied.

"Really? The tears dripping off your face indicate otherwise" Vic replied. I wiped my cheeks to learn that I had been crying and I didn't notice.

"Don't worry, I'll deal with it" I said, throwing up my 'im fine' facade that had been holding up for so long.

"I don't believe you. We're going to a therapist to get you sorted"

"Can we go to my old therapist, she kept me alive when I was twelve"

"Okay, tell me about her"

"Well, at first, when I was nine and a half and I had just got attacked by the others, I wouldn't even talk to her. Then she brought in her old guitar that she didn't use. She taught me how to play it and let me keep it. I would play for hours to myself. Then she brought new instruments and essentially tried music therapy. She got me into all the music I listen to now. Anyway, that worked and I opened up to her. I was seeing her three times a week for three hours at a time. She taught me all of the instruments I know now, as well as a few languages like Italian and French. Anything she couldn't teach me, she would bring someone in to show me. I told her about the abuse and why I was always covered in bruises and scars. She wanted to tell the police but I begged her not to. Eventually, she taught me self-defence. She used my love of learning to keep me sane"

"She sounds fucking awesome! What happened?"

"Well, I turned thirteen and the owner of The Home thought I would be okay without her. Anyway, the others went on tour, the abuse got worse and that's when the addiction started"