I sit in my thin bed, cradling my knees. I slowly rock back and forth, my butt hitting the bed frame below me. I cover my ears as the banging and screaming start next door. The nurse must be coming in soon. I swallow hard that they will think that my room is empty. I uncover my ears as the screaming stops. I reach under my pillow and grab a small piece of black chalk, no bigger then my finger nail. It will have to do. I cradle in in my hands as I find a empty space on the wall. I stand up from my bed and limp over to the opisite wall. I scratch the stub of what used to be my left foot and begin writing.
Dear Wall,
This may be my last entry. They haven't let my out in a while. Maybe i'll break free and feel the cool air on my skin again. Close my eyes and just breath.
I hear a knock on my door.
I must go. They are here.
For the last time,
Kitty
The old door know is pried open. Pushing a small cart is my normal nurse. She last came three weeks ago to feed my and say good-bye. A green mask covers her face. I hang my head and limp back to my bed. I lay down. I let out a little laugh. Thinking of what the after life will feel like. I laugh harder and the voices surround me. I look over at the nurse. Her eyes smile as she flicks a syringe. I gulp and stare at the ceiling. "Okay. Big day Sally."
"My name isn't Sally. It's Kitty."
"Okay, Kitty, big day." She grabs my head and throws it to the right. I feel a sharp pain in my head. I let out a scream of pain and start thrashing. I hit the wall, the bed, the nurse. I uses her free hand to pin my down. My vision blurs. A pounding in my head starts. I feel my breathing quicken. "Please calm down, Sally." the nurse's face shakes then blurs then comes into focus. My breathing goes back to normal. My legs stop thrashing. My vision returns. All pain is gone. I close my mouth. I nurse takes a step back, eyes wide. "B-But." I sit up and stare at her.
"My name isn't Sally." I smile, curl up back into a ball and start rocking again.
* * *
I feel the cool blood under my hands. I giggle as I throw it at my mom. She doesn't move. "Mommy look at what I did." I point to out small dog laying on the floor. I see tears well up in her eyes. "Mommy aren't you proud?" angry rises in her face. "Mommy." I am cut off by the warm back hand slap my mother has given me. I let out a scream of pain.I hear foot steps down the hall.
"Mary stop."
"You have no place in this John. It was my dog, s-she killed him." I giggle which causes my mom to kick my strait in the stomach.
I plaster the floors with my vomit for the next 30 minutes as she punches and kicks me more. Dad tried to stop her, but now he is laying unconscious at the bottom of the stairs. I would have laughed at this but he was the only one that got me. The only one that understood what I was going through.
In about two hours i'm bruised and bloody enough so my mom backs off and bury's the dog. When I regain my strength I walk to the back door. I remember the first time I ran away. I blew my dad and award kiss and just walked out the back. I hear footsteps from the front porch. Tears walking in the house. I use every last bit of strength to open the door and run. I don't care about the pain, the trouble, the location. I just run. Run away from this horrid house that I live in.
* * *
The bed creaks below me as I bang my head against the wall. The pain in the side of my head has only gotten worse. I groan as the banging doesn't help. Shouting from across the hall echos into my room, causing a headache. I stand up from the bed anger bubbling inside of me. I bang on the door to my room. "SHUT-UP YOU MOTHER-" I am cut off when the door opens. I stumble back and land on my butt with an thud. "Hello Kitty..."
"What the hell do you want?"
"Now I don't want you to get feisty" I lift my long hair off if the side my face to revile the green veins and a fat lump on my temple. "Happy?" I smile and then skip back to my bed. He makes his way over to me. "Sorry, Kitty won't be seeing people right now." I giggle "Oh stop it Marthy, I'll make one exception." I blow him a quick his. He gags at the smell of my breath and sits next to me.
I scoot to the back of my bed. He sits across from me.
"She writes me." I begin. He looks up from his lap and stares at me.
"Who?"
"Mostly apologies but some about life. she should be fired and in jail but no one catches her."
"Who are you talking about."
"On and on about why did you run away and what did I ever do. You know my answer to that? Kicked me in the stomach twice for no reason. She was a crappy... well she's just crappy.?
"Who? Who are you talk-" he cuts himself off as a light goes of in his brain. "Your nurse."
"A+ for you, it took me longer to find out." I jump up off my bed. He follows me. I skip to the back of my bed and pull the old lumpy mattress. hundreds of crumpled and bent letters in neat envelops. I pick up the one on the top and scan over it before handing it to him. With every word his eyes get bigger. He reads the end. "Mom." he mumbles under his breath.
"Yup, that was the time she tried to make me sane. She knocked out a guard and turned off my camera. She came into my room and said 'Okay Kitty last shot' she walked over to me and ripped off my shirt. I shoved her back off of me. She charged with the needle, grabbed my throat told me this was best and aimed the needle. I raised my legs and kicked her in the stomach right at that time the cameras came on and I got shocked until I was almost dead." I stare at the bed.
"When was this?"
"Yesterday." his mouth falls open. I lift up both my shirt sleeves and show him the burns that run up my arms like veins. I pull them down and feel a sharp pain in my head. I fall onto my empty bed frame onto the letters which sends another pain through my back. I feel my eyes roll back in my head and my body jolt. 1, 2, 3. My nurse pushes on my chest but its to late I feel my breathing slow and my eyes closes. 1, 2, 3. . . . .
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