Nale

Who the fuck are you?

"Fabio, please tell me that's not what I think it is..."
"Uh, I uh...um...it's not what you think it is?"
Fabio dropped a large red potato sack with a slightly moist thud. The red color of the sack became more obvious to me as the color slowly spread across the uneven cave floor, resulting in small red crisscrossing streams. It was very pretty and all, but that was beside the point.
"Fabio! You idiot! You god damn idiot!"
Within a fraction of a second, yes I'm that amazing, I closed the ten foot gap between us and throttled his long since dead neck. "I told you to lay low! My experiments are very near complete, not to mention highly secretive, and you waltz right on into our secret lair with a streaking red trail behind you saying: Hey! We killed yer children! We're over here!"
I threw him at the wall hard enough to break every bone in his body. He wasn't using them anyway. Hell, I couldn't care to much even if he was.
He laughed in response to being thrown like a cold meat puppet though. As if it was worth it to him. Just to piss me off, and ya know, if I had blood it really would have made it boil, and if I had lips, it would of made grin at the same time. I mean, I did create him to learn from me after all...

Fabio was alive once. He used to be an orphan. A very very sick orphan. His body stayed the same as it was then thanks to me too, so he still looks like the red haired, 6 foot, scrawny kid that I took in long ago. Now I know what you might be thinking. Oh Nale! Your so sweet. You saved the orphan from suffering by- Nah! Nah nah nah, that's not how it went down.
I killed him. I murdered him in cold blood. I saw him happily playing in the orphanage and then I destroyed the orphanage and killed every last child. Of course I also had my illusionist skin that day. Awesome stuff that skin is. It allows me to create a body to cast over my skeletal self in order to look and function like a normal person periodically. I can only make enough for it to last about a week though and the materials take years to harvest, so I indulged myself by fucking every hot nun I could find. You know how hard it is to guess if they look good under those robes? Well I do. Pretty fuckin' hard! Bout only two out of fifty of em were decent. Oh that was a goood day. One of em started to do some reeeaal sinful stuff near the end! Woman of Zelic my boney ass! Eheheh, oh wait, where was I? Oh right! Well yeah, that's pretty much it. I chose him at random, killed them all and raised him as an undead apprentice against his will. I guess the whole against his will made him the smart ass he's become. Honestly, I love it though. It's hilarious to see what he does just to try and piss me off. Anyway, back to the story!

"Well, I was about to leave anyway. So, I guess I don't care." I shrugged and created a pit in the cave with a single finger snap.
After shoving all my supplies down the hole, I punched Fabio in the gut, laughed and proceeded to chuck him down the hole as well.
I was about to jump down the hole myself when a golden symbol sealed the hole shut. It was my symbol. My seal. My last name.
Meant only one thing. Without turning I chuckled a bit and then sighed heavily.
"Ughh. For fuck's sake! Give it a rest Zane! Your never gunna seal me!"
I turned around mid speech.
"So why don't you run along and-"
It wasn't Zane I saw though. It was a girl. Even stranger, one i'd never seen before. Usually I knew them if they chased me down but this....fuckin' weird man!
"Oh my...Well hello..." I remember grinning wickedly as I said that.

She wasn't too tall and she certainly wasn't very threatening. Her hair was nice long and black, her eyes were the same as the moon, grey but still shone some light from behind them, and her expression showed a mighty stubbornness under all that charm.

"Nale Hiyaga!" She said loud, proud and with a surprising amount of authority, "My name is Nyxxa Hiyaga. I am the newly married bride of Zane Hiyaga and I have come to capture and detain you so I can use your access to the Underworld! Do not resist! I know all of your tricks and have been trained for this very moment half of my entire life!"

I had THE WEIRDEST boner right then...