the beginning

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I was looking out the window of the car just thinking to myself is that me? I had caught a glance of myself in the window.  I had long hair and a dress,  why? I didn't want either.  my mother did she always did I was her little girl. her first girl after 3 boys. why am I feeling like this? I thought to myself that night at home.  I was uncertain where my life had headed why am I so out of control? I told myself it was all my fault that I did something wrong that I wasn't tying hard enough. I had to try harder that was it just be a girl.  i just had to try. 

i was playing with my 3 older brothers when my mother came and told me i needed to come inside and get dressed.  it hadnt ocorded to me that i was in a baggy tshirt and basketball shorts insted of my normal dress, because i was comforable i was happy just playing soccer with dilan and jamal and cody. they were alowed to ware these clothes why not me? 

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