12 Roses 12 Deaths (EDITING)

Chapter 43

Kate's POV

I'm sick of this. I can feel a lump rising up my throat screaming to let it out. It's not a Lump of sadness or pity. It's of pure anger and mortification. I see the people I called friends die one by one. Little by little I'm wishing to be killed physically, because mentally I feel like I'm slowly being murdered by it's torture. Paige and Gloria pregnant, by two guys who who's souls where torn out of their bodies. We may say we have to survive but this kind of life isn't survival, this is no life at all. I refuse to be fears slave yet I fear waking up everyday. This is not the life I wanted, I wanted a life where I could live without a care.  Matt, Diana, Paige, Gloria and myself are the only ones left. Yet all of us are gathered crying over the death of someone else. I wipe my tears and sniffle a little. I will not be fears slave! I lift up my hand and pull Gloria away from victor's limp and lifeless body.
"Stop crying, you'll probably meet the same fate as his." I say so coldly that I can even feel the regret rising and Turing in my stomach. I expect everyone to give me cold eyes or for Gloria to be mad at me. But when she looks at me her once pleading eyes are now biting into mine. Her look is confidant and acceptant.
" I'll be okay, but will you?" She spoke it to me not with pity or lies but with truth and braveness.
" Get out." She says turning her head. " all of you out!" Her voice raises on every word she speaks. That enough sent all of us out as she shut the door to the bedroom. I could hear the lock on the other side turn. I don't even bother to look at everyone else I walk to my room, and I don't turn around. " I'll be ok, but will you." The words keep on reappearing inside my head constantly reminding me of the look in her eyes. What did she mean by that? I'm ok. Right? Right.....No.. I'm not. I need to stop lieing to myself. She's right. I'm the one who isn't alright. I get a good look at the rose on my nightstand. Only five roses left. Five. Twelve all the way down to five. I go to my bed and slowly crouch on it. I put my face on my knees. How can everyone keep going? How is everyone so brave and mentally ok? How am I the one that's fucked up to the core. I lift up both my hands and look that them, the veins pop out and I can feel them begging to turn cold. What is this feeling? It's the feeling of despondent... No! No! No! I'm screaming in my head! This place is going to kill me! It's going to kill all of us! We are all going to suffer!
I mean..
I can help us..
I'll make sure that we stay together...
Forever...
And ever....
We will die together..
I will grant us that wish...
Yes! I'll rise with that wish. They will be so thankful! Where did I leave my gun? Where did I leave it??! That's right. I left it inside my closet in an old shoe box! I open the beige closet door and look for the black box. I finally get my hands on it. I quickly open it and grab the gun. The cold metal feels so good. This gun will keep us together. The gun will.. It will be the way to reach nirvana! Happiness!
Now all I have to do...
Is send us there! Yes there.. Nirvana, heaven, somewhere peaceful. We will be forgiven for our sins. I get up from the hard carpet. And I turn the cold golden door knob to my door. I'm finally going to help us.. I'll finally help them...
They will thank me. They will! I walk towards where my feet lead me. I turn the knob and I'm happy to see Diana on her bed reading a book, I lower my head to read the title " The Loved One" never heard of it. I place the gun behind my back and I finally see Diana's head rise to look at me.
" Hey Kate.. How are you holding up?" She asks with a faint smile on her face.
It's ok she will be smiling happily when we leave this world.
" I'm doing just great Diana, I just thought that maybe there is a way out of all of this, where all of us can have a happy ending, where we will forget that all of this happened." I say putting one of the brightest smile on my face.
" Kate.. Are you alright?"She asks closing her book and standing up.
This is my chance...
She'll be the lucky number one....
She will be happy...
I pull the gun from my back and point it at Diana. Her eyes go wide, with trepidation.
" Kate.. Wh.. What are.. You doing?" She asks backing away from me ploddingly.
" You don't have to make those faces haha, your going to be happy soon. We all will, the only happy ending is leaving this world...
I'm helping us." You should be grateful" I say in my joyful tone. I put my finger on the trigger. We will all be happy..
*bang* * bang* *bang* three shots.... Fired.