Winged Love

Chapter 2

"Clare!"
Jane's voice called from the bottom of Clare's enormous room.

Every team member's room is at the top floor of the gigantic mansion, except for Mark's room. He is the team's elder; the old gaurdian angel who gives advice and makes sure that the team leader provides sufficient training. He enlightens the team with his wisdom and experience. He is the father figure of the group. His room is on the ground floor, his wings now too old to fly him to the top floors as easily as they used to, for there is no need for stairs in a house for winged people.

The team all lived here together, and they spent most of their lives here too. If they weren't in the human world tracking and destroying demons or at the angel academy main quarters, they were at the team mansion, always.

Clare's room was at the top left side of the house, next to James's room. They were planning on breaking the wall down that was separating the rooms, to make one big room for them once they were married. Now that is definitely not happening. Every time Clare thought about it, another wave of pain crashed through the very core of her existence, her lungs refuse to function properly and she cries al over again, as if it was the first time she cried about her love's death.

"Clare?" Jane's always cheerful voice sings up to her room. "Are you coming down or am I going up?" She says in a jokingly stern sort of way.

Clare doesn't answer. She is too focused on the terrible ache and feeling of nothingness inside of her to even care about other people. She wants to be left alone. She has no emotional strength to pretend that she is okay and will be able to cope with the loss of James. She has no strenght to worry and deal with the rest of the team's loss and pain too, she has enough of that herself, however selfish that might seem. She can't talk, because somehow conversion always lead back to James. She wants to be left alone, but she doesn't want to be alone either. It's wierd conflicting feelings she can't explain, not even to herself. The only thing that she knows for sure, is that she wants James back. She wants to hear his laugh, wants to hear his voice. Wants to me kissed by hi,.whats to be held in his strong, big arms. She wants her James back.

Being alone meant that her mind had no destractions and constantly dwelled on memories of James or the thought that she will never see him again. Another thing her mind dwelled on frequently was her future. Everything was so perfectly and happily planned with James. What would she do now? She didn't just loose the love of her life, she lost her entire life. At least, it felt that way to her at that moment.

"Fine, you leave me no choice."
Clare could hear the beating of wings and the sound of Jane landing softly on the other side of the door. She hears the doorknob turn and the door creak open, but she doesn't bother to open her eyes.

Clare was still sitting with her back to the bed. Her eyes closed and her head leaning back, resting on the bed. Clare feels too emotionally drained to move. She heard footsteps and felt Jane sit down next to her. She felt a small hand gently being put down on her knee and forced herself to open her eyes.

Her eyes felt puffy and they couldn't focus for a while at first. When they finally focused she acknowledged her best friend's presence with a slight nod.

Jane smiled at her. She always had this bright and happy vibe about her. Maybe it was her short blond hair that made her look fun or her blue eyes that always seemed like they were full of happiness and innocence. Maybe it was her lips that always seemed to be turned up in a smile.

This time her smile wasn't cheerful, it was sympathetic.
"You're not okay, are you?" She watched as Clare closed her eyes, it was as if the pain Clare felt was visible in every fresh teardrop that now started running down her face again.
"It's okay for you not to be." Said Jane sympathetically.

Clared stared at her for a little while. Admiring Jane's ability to always somehow know exactly what people are feeling and what to say. Clare felt grateful that she didn't ask her if she was okay, except simply stated that she wasn't. Clare didn't feel up to trying to convince anyone she is okay.

Clare closed her green eyes and shook her head. This made her long wavy brown hair fall over her shoulders and she could feel fresh tears fall down her cheeks, again.

She felt Jane's arm around her and felt her being pulled into a hug. She allowed it. Craving the affection and feeling of having someone there. They sat in silence. The only sounds were Clares sobs and she could feel her body shaking without her permission. She allowed this too. Allowed herself to be sad, to cry and to be completely vulnerable.

She had no idea how long they sat there. After a while there were no more tears to cry, yet the sadness was always there. She had a terrible headache. She felt nothing, just unbearable emptyness.

After more time just sitting in complete silence Jane got up and looked cheerful again, hoping that some of her positive energy might rub off on Clare.

"Come on. Let's get you an outfit and get you all dolled up."

Clare grunted. She completely forgot; the ceremony was later that day. Here at the angel academy, they celebrated life. A funeral was not like the sad, morbid ones she had the extreme misfortune of witnessing in the human world. Here it was an enormous party, that was open to anyone who ever was lucky enough to have known the diseased.

"Don't worry about it."
Jane said as she poked around in Clare's closet.
"The moment you have a sip of the happy juice you'll be okay."

Happy juice. Maybe happy juice wasn't the best thing for Clare at the moment. It's the closest thing angels have to human's alcohol, except it doesn't make you drunk, it just closes off the parts of you that make you sad. That's exactly why they're only available at funerals. Many angels have gotten addicted to it in the past and Clare knew that if she had access to happy juice all the time, she would constantly be drinking it. She'd do anything to get rid of this empty feeling inside if her. In all honesty, she just wanted to have James in her life again and that's all she could think about. She'd be happy to have a break from thinking and just be happy, completely and utterly happy.

Jane turned around with a cheeky smile on her face, obviously still desperate to try and cheer Clare up, and held out whatever it is she found that she felt was suitable. With another grunt Clare got up and walked over to her friend, took the dress from her and slipped in it. She looked at herself in the mirror. It looked good.

It was a little black dress that fit her body perfectly, hugging all her curves. The dress even made her wings stand out more and look bigger.
"You look awesome!" Jane said in an attempt to make Clare feel good about herself or anything again.

"You think ai should wear this to the ceremony?"
Ceremony... James's ceremony ... Another wave of pain filled her chest.