Dear Universe... [Phanfiction]

Two

Dan's P.O.V

22.12 2015

Dear Universe,

Why is my life so damn boring? Literally nothing happens. No friends, no family, no girlfriend. I want some action but you stupid life, you don't want me to be happy, right? Nobody wants Dan to be happy.

Dan didn't believe in God. He never had since he was a child. There was always a higher force that controls everything and he liked the idea. During his school time the teachers kept saying that he was different than other kids at his age and nothing has changed until now.

Dan closed his diary. If he had a time machine and would tell his younger self that he would have a diary at the age of 24, young Dan would prabably laugh at him.
The cover was soft, black leather with silver letters that said Death Note. He always loved that anime and wrote names in it, hoping that these people would die, but it didn't do anything so he used it as his diary.

The TV was on and the room flickered in the light of the show that was currently playing. Through his closed curtains it had to look as if there were thunderstorms and a lonely Dan in between.

Since he left his parent's house to study, he lived alone in London. They still thought that he would go to university every day but the truth was that he quit studying to concentrate on his YouTube career. He had a lot of free time and the only things he did the whole day were watching TV series, sleeping, eating and filming videos for his YouTube channel 'danisnotonfire', where he was quite successful.
His last video was two weeks ago which meant that he should go and film but he didn't want to. Dan felt tired and empty and just wanted to go to bed.

As he laid there, he thought about the meaning of life.

Why do we exist?

This question has always been in his head. Since he was a boy he asked himself this simple question but he never found an answer. The adults looked at him in a strange way when he asked them about life. They would never expect something so deep from a little boy.

Does it make sense to live when you don't have anyone to live for?

He thought about it again, like every night when loneliness became stronger and the darkness filled his heart with fear. To be honest, he thought about committing suicide a few times but he quit thinking about it. It would seem stupid to a few people he knows because he kept telling them that killing yourself is not a solution. Sometimes when he was alone, the thoughts came back. He found it stupid but he couldn't do anything more than trying to sleep to escape the hell in his head.

Phil's P.O.V

He's doing it again. Why can't he just stop and think about something else?

"PHILIP!" An angry voice yelled from behind.

"You don't have to call me Philip. My name is Phil. Just Phil." He said calmly.

The man rolled his eyes and left the cloud Phil was sitting on.

He was alone now and started to watch about his human again. This soft brown hair gave him the desire to touch and caress it. Long, long ago was the last time his hands felt the skin, his eyes looked into those deep warm brown eyes and his nose noticed the sweet and fimiliar smell of his clothes.

Still staring at this gorgeous human, Phil's hand went to the back pocket of his jeans. He knew the feelings would be stronger when he pulled out a folded piece of paper but he missed him. He missed him more than everything else in the world and knowing that this human won't remember him, broke his heart. A single tear fell down and landed on the drawing. It wasn't that pretty, probably from a really young boy but it became blurry. The people on the picture disappeared slowly and left an ugly spot of emtyness.
His eyes filled with more and more tears when he realised that he just destroyed the only memory of him. The only thing he had left from him,

Dan Howell.

Hi guys! I'm sorry that it took so long but I'm a very slow writer 😂 so yeah a new chapter. It's a bit boring, I know, but it was necessary for you to know how their brain works. (That sounded weird)

I'm really interested if anyone who reads this is from the US and went/will go to Tatinof. Let me know if you are and if you liked this chapter 💕

Jana ⭐