My Sister's Keeper

Chapter 59

59

I THOUGHT MARTHA AND I HAD FIGURED every possibility, but we never considered this one. Winston is Uncle Charlie? My heart skipped a beat. Dad? Goose bumps rose on my arms. I've often heard that the first time a man sees his newborn child, an emotion of unconditional love sweeps through him like a flame on spilled gasoline. I was meeting my father for the first time and I felt something powerful sweep through me.

Sydney stammered like a child who'd just been tricked by a slight-of-hand magician at the county fair. "W—What did you do?"

Mother dabbed a tissue at her eyes, but looked as if she'd been relieved of a load she had carried her whole life. "All the feelings I thought I'd stowed away forever came rushing back. I went to pieces, burst into tears, and collapsed in the doorway. When he lifted me up, I grabbed hold of him, kissed him, and wouldn't let go." That loose shutter banged again against the side of the house. "We held each other for hours crying and laughing, and then made love. It was the most wonderful, most magical day of my life. And when it was time to go, I didn't want to leave, but Charlie insisted that I had to go home, that I had to keep his identity a secret."

"What? Why is that?" I asked Winston.

Winston—No, Charlie—No. My God! My father—my real father—took over the story. I stared as if seeing him for the first time, hanging on his every word, looking for pieces of myself in him.

"The first few months in the North Carolina Jaycee Burn Center, they kept me so doped up that I was seldom conscious. And when I was, the pain was so intense that all I wanted was to be knocked out again."

Mom watched him just as I did and his pain showed in her face.

"I'd been there for months before I realized that they thought I was somebody else. I told them my name was Charlie, but they just ignored me and kept calling me Winston. Then people that had known Winston before the accident began coming up from Wilmington and little by little I learned about Pearl—that she had married my brother Gus and that they'd had a child." The pain in Winston's voice brought tears to every eye in the room.

"After that, I didn't care what they called me. Or whether I lived or died. I just laid there and cried. The nurses thought it was because of the pain caused by my burns."

"I didn't know," Mom said sliding an arm around Charlie, laying her head against his shoulder.

"Then, after being there for a year and a half, they released me from the hospital. But I didn't have anywhere to go. So I did what everyone around me expected me to do. I let them bring me back to Wilmington and set me up at the farm."

"Why didn't you tell anyone who you were when you got back to Wilmington?" I asked.

"I didn't want to be pitied," he said looking down. "And people said they thought things had worked out pretty well for Pearl. They said she looked happy and I didn't know that you were my son."

Hearing those words caused my chest to tighten. I could feel the love in his eyes as they peered at me through his scarred slits. I felt dizzy. My legs shook nervously and my face felt as if it was on fire.

"And the biggest reason I kept my identity a secret is that I didn't know how Pearl would react if she saw me. Winston had never been married and his parents were dead, so I figured the best thing for me to do was leave well enough alone."

It was a powerful moment and in that moment my universe turned right-side up. Suddenly, everything made sense. My conflicts with Dad. The bond I had with Martha. Life! I was conceived by their love and I could feel that love flowing from him to me and back from me to him. I didn't have to think about it. It was as if someone had turned on a light switch inside me. Sydney tugged at my arm. "Are you okay?"