Bullied

Chapter 9

"Wow...your art is just...wow."

My words came out breathy and I couldn't think of anything witty to say, which made me feel like a complete nimrod of course. I knew nothing of art. No one in my family had ever been an artist of any kind. To see someone with such talent was awe inspiring and just a little bit intimidating. Luke was going places. Maybe someday he'd be famous and I could say I knew him when he was just in high school. Would he pretend not to know me? You're getting a little bit ahead of yourself, Kylie. I knew I was, but I couldn't help thinking about things like this out of habit. Just because I had a friend now, that didn't mean that I wasn't still insecure that he'd see something in me that would make him run screaming in the opposite direction.

"Thanks. It's just something I dabble in. I like to sketch. Painting isn't my forte, like my mom Kelly, but I'm trying to master it. It's really hard, though."

"You're welcome. I wish I could draw more than just stick people."

"I'm sure you're talented in other ways."

"No. I'm not, Luke. Stop being so nice."

"You just haven't found your talent yet, but you will."

"I doubt it. I'm a talentless loser."

"No you're not. Just give it time. You'll see."

I sigh heavily, his eternal optimism getting under my skin once again. I don't know why he thought the best of everything. Not everything works out for the best. I see things the way they are, not for the way that I hope they will be. I consider myself a realist. Luke would call me a pessimist. In fact, he has. Multiple times since I've known him. I just don't like to get my hopes up. I usually end up disappointed and even more discouraged than I was to begin with. It just wasn't worth it, thinking positive all the time. I didn't see the point in reaching for something that wasn't knowingly attainable. I didn't really see how that made me a pessimist, but his mind wasn't easily swayed. I was a cynical, rotting, putrid mess, but somehow he saw something better in me. He saw something that I wished I could see for myself.

"Why are you always so...negative? It makes me sad."

He cupped my face in his hands gently, forcing me to look up at him. I tried to avoid his eyes, but he ducked his head to make eye contact with me. I couldn't resist staring into those cerulean blue eyes once they locked onto mine. I was stuck, frozen, unsure of what to say or do. I could see the sadness he referred to reflecting in his eyes. I felt a little overwhelmed by the intense way he was gazing at me, but I couldn't make myself look away. This is one of those romantic movie kiss type scenes. Would he kiss me? He licked his lips and I managed to look away from his eyes just long enough to take in the sight of his moist, soft looking lips. Oh god! He pulled me into his arms instead and hugged me tight to him. I felt the contours of his hard, fit body molding to my fluffy, marshmallow like one. I felt simultaneously ashamed of my sized, disappointed that he hadn't kissed me and also relieved to be hugged. I didn't get many of those.

"I just am. Experience has taught me everything I think about myself."

"That's just disappointing to hear. Do you get picked on a lot?"

I pulled away from him, having a hard time concentrating on my words with his arms around me.

"Not so much since you came along, but that doesn't mean it couldn't start up again I suppose."

He wanted to know what all had been done to me or said to me, but I wasn't sure I wanted to tell him. He looked at the world so beautifully, I'd hate to be the one to burst his happy little bubble. I kept saying no, but he insisted. So, I told him everything. It had only been a couple of weeks since we had been friends, but it pretty much had ceased. Now people would just whisper when we walked into a room or go completely silent. I couldn't tell what they were thinking, but it made me ultra uncomfortable. Most of the time we ate lunch outside and spent study halls at the library. That made things a little easier for me. Avoidance was a bad habit for me. I tended to run away from my problems rather than face them head on like I knew I should. I hated conflict, drama, attention. I had terrible Social Anxiety and was surprised that Luke hadn't given up on me yet. He was like a rainbow after a storm, while I tended to just be the dark clouds threatening to rain down on everything.

"That's terrible! Why would people do those things?"

"I'm assuming that you've never been picked on then?"

"No. Not that I can recall. Maybe I just learned to ignore it or something. Has that worked for you?"

I laughed without meaning to and shook my head. He sounded almost like my dad. I guess my dad was probably optimistic like Luke that everything would turn out just fine in the end. I wished I could be as sure as them. I should introduce them soon. I think my dad would love him. Maybe then he'd stop worrying about me as well. His constant pestering was extremely annoying. I had always been a private person and he just always wanted to basically be up in my business, so to speak. Speaking of dad, you should go talk to him. My inner voice was right, as usual. I did need to go and ask dad permission to stay for dinner. I was pretty sure he'd say yes, but it was the right thing to do so he knew where I was. I told Luke I was going to run across the street and ask my dad if it was okay that I ate with them. He of course insisted that he come along too. He is so adorkably annoying. It made me smile and roll my eyes at the same time. He conflicted me most of the time. I sometimes felt pulled into his happy little world, but my inner doubts would always drag me kicking and screaming back to reality. I would never be like him. I knew it. He was the only one that didn't seem to care.

"Dad? Are you home?"

"His car was in the driveway dude. Where else would he be?"

"I realize that smart ass, but sometimes he goes for a walk after he comes home from work."

I grinned at him and he shoved me playfully, rolling his beautiful eyes at me. He even makes that look good. How does he do that? Maybe it was his confidence? He seemed so sure of himself. I hope his confidence rubbed off on me someday.

"Hey hon! You're home! I was wondering if I should start to worry."

He halted his walk down the stairs when he saw Luke standing behind me. His eyebrows raised quizzically and then he smiled.

"Who's this?"

"I'm-"

I cut him off before he could properly introduce himself.

"His name's Luke. He just moved in across the street."

"Nice to meet you, son. Welcome."

My dad shook his hand firmly and they just stood there grinning at each other like idiots. I needed to get this over with. So awkward.

"Nice to meet you too, sir."

"Dad, can I eat dinner with him and his moms?"

He seemed surprised at the question since I usually was either at the library or at home. I didn't really hang out with anyone nor did I participate in after school activities.

"Sure. That's fine. I guess I'll see you afterwards then."

"Okay dad, thanks. See you later."

I wondered briefly what he was going to have for dinner before attempting to shove Luke out the door. He wouldn't budge however and when I looked at him I saw a mischievous smirk on his face.

"You wanna come, sir? My moms would love to have you over and I'm sure there's plenty to go around. We're having pizza."

Oh no he didn't just do that! Did he? Yes. Yes he freaking did! What was it with this boy and pizza? My dad looked at me and mistook my incredulous look for joy I guess, because he smiled and said yes. Shit! I could only really handle one person at a time. Too many people and I got really nervous and started putting up walls. I hated that about me, but it made me feel safe, as weird as it sounds. I could build an inner fortress and then I felt like I stood less of a chance of getting hurt. It didn't always work. It wasn't ever a very strong wall, but for the most part it worked. I knew, somehow that I was to probably going to embarrass myself somehow, but I hoped I wouldn't. As long as I didn't have some sort of breakdown, everything should be just fine. You better hope so or this boy's gonna run away from you. I shushed my inner voice and resisted the urge to agree with her. I couldn't think like that, it would end up completely devastating me.