Failed Theories

2

"Oh come on!" Kyle yells in frustration as I kill him, again, his character falling to the ground.

"I told you, I am impossible to beat, I am king." I said smirking, before patting his head.

"You're a loser not a king." Kyle says grumbling before shoving a bunch of chips into his mouth.

"Says the loser, for the what? Eigth time...in a row?" I said, placing my hands behind my head and relaxing into the couch.

We're in the basement of my house which coincidentally is also my room. It looks like any typical teenage cliché of the loser nerd child, star war figures neatly lined up on a shelf, endless hoodies and converse slung around, and then my proudest achievement, my video game setup, complete with fridge filled with energy drinks and sour gummy worms.

"Did you call Van?" Kyle said, resetting the game.

"Yeah but he said he couldn't come; he's volunteering at the dog shelter." I said, fumbling with the control, trying to evade the spray of bullets Kyle is shooting at me.

"Don't you think it's weird he volunteers at the dog shelter? I mean Van is like the Grim Reaper." Kyle said, pretending to strangle himself then swearing when he dies again.

"Talk shit, get hit, or in this case killed." I said laughing. "But no, I get it man, you know Van tough on the outside a big peep on the inside."

"Peep? Really? Why couldn't you choose a teddy bear or something? Peeps are fucking disgusting and even I wouldn't insult Van like that." Kyle says, shaking his head.

"Because have you seen Van hug anyone? And peeps are delicious you ignoramus!" I said, scrambling to actually choke him.

I have my hands around his neck, Kyle's skinny arms trying to shove me away, his face turning purple. He's about to proclaim Peeps as the bee's knees when the doorbell rings and I sigh in defeat.

I walk upstairs, already hurrying but the bell keeps ringing furiously. I open the door and turn to glare at the person on my doorstep but the sun hits my eyes and I end up squinting trying to see who it is.

"Jesus Christ! Stop touching the damn bell, some people don't like leaving their cave!" I semi-yell while trying to cover my eyes from the sun's death gaze.

"I find persistence is key when it comes to these sort of things, hi Perry." The voice says, a very familiar and female voice.

"Holy Shit, Ambra?" I said, embarrassment creeping into my voice.

"Holy? No. A piece of shit? Probably" She says shrugging her shoulders, "No matter, I've come to discuss more important matters, mind opening the door Perry?" She asks before walking in.

"Sure?" I said, scratching my head and closing the door.

I turn to see her right behind me.

"Holy fuck!" I screamed scrambling back.

Laughing, she walks into the living room. Okay then.

"So what are you doing here?" I said, shoving my hands into my pocket.

"As I said, I've come to ask you a question." She says, before we both sit on the couch.

We sit in silence for 5 minutes...

..................*crickets chirping*...........................................

"Well?" I ask, waving my hands in the air.

"What?" She says, putting a strand of hair behind her ear.

"The question!" I yelled frustrated.

"Oh, yeah that, so I need you to be my buddy." She says, brown eyes twinkling.

"Your what? And why? We've never even spoken before." I said confused.

"My buddy, basically you follow me around in case I have an episode." She said, staring at her hands.

"What do you mean an episode?" I said, gulping slightly.

"I, uh, have um, I was diagnosed with schizophrenia 3 months ago." She said, her face blank of emotion.

"What? But there isn't anything wrong with you, you look fine." I said gesturing to her body.

"It's called a mental illness for a reason idiot!" She yelled at me, she sucked in a breath, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you, but yes physically I am fine, but my head? Not so much, I'm afraid."

I stare at her, not saying anything for a moment. The girl I've loved for basically my whole life (according to Presentism just recently) is losing her beautiful mind and I'm going to have to watch. That sucks.

Whatever. "I'll do it." I said.

She looks up, smiling brightly, "Really?" She asks before jumping into my lap and kissing both of my cheeks. "Thank you! I'll see you tomorrow!" She yells running out the door.

I just sit there holding my face before a low whistle pierces the air.

"My man Perry, getting some, never thought I'd see the day." Kyle says grinning.

"Shut up how long were you there?" I said, glaring at him.

"Just long enough to see Ambra hump you." He said making a crude gesture.

"She did not hump me!" I said my face turning red.

"It's okay I'm not going to tell anyone." Kyle says raising his hands in surrender.

"Out," I said, pointing at the door.

"Fine, I was leaving anyways." Kyle says, leaving.

I flop back on the couch and sigh. What have I gotten myself into.