Life clocks

Chapter 10

My dream consisted of me in a dark room, encased in a large glass box, trapped like a spider under a glass. Outside each panel of glass is one person I love dearly. A head of me is Poppy, her small form stirring and them trying not to scream but failing. The floor is covered in spiders. She has always hated them, even more than loud noises. She is crying frightened tears. I try to reach her when another scream pierces the air. It's Jack. Jack is terrified of water and can't swim at all. He's trying but panicking. My fingers press on the glass displaying him for not even a second when another scream rips through the air. It's dad. He's pounding on the walls, as they slowly close in on him. I take only one step to hear the last and most heartbreaking cry. I turn and see Olivia being beaten. She's trying to defend herself but he's better than her and keeps hitting her. I fall to the floor. A man is in the box with me and he explained the rules. I have to save only one of them or save myself. When I don't react, he hits me and throws me to the floor. He tries to assault me but I fight him off. I make desperate clawing marks on his chest. I would normally wake up after this but, this time, a bright light shone in on us. It sent the man scrambling back into the darkness. The light was a young child. They hugged me and I stroked their hair. I woke up to see Olivia, staring intently at me. I apologised for my nightmare waking her up. She waved me off. I knew she was making a note of it mentally.

I left that morning feeling scared. The worst part was the lack of questions. One would have expected to be interrogated about a terrifying dream, but no. Later on in the day, I heard that Jack got a call from Olivia, asking for my diary. Only Jack knew where I put it. He got lil pup to find it for him and take to Olivia. My heart hammered in my chest. He asked if I was okay, as I was slowly making my way to the floor. "I'm okay. Just a-a nervous moment. It happens. I heard one of my trigger words. It's okay." I lied. "No you're not. Go home rookie. I'll tell the chief that you're having a sick day." He said, patting my shoulder. I clocked out and went to my apartment. As the door opened, I noticed the smell of Charlie Blue, Olivia's favourite perfume. "If you're going to break into my apartment, wear a different perfume." I said into the perceived emptiness. "I am not trying to hide from you. I know what I'm doing." Her voice whispered. "Only a madman talks to thin air. Why not stand where I can see you?" I say to her. She steps out of the hallway leading to the bedroom into my view. She holds the book in front of me. "Who are you? You're not who you say you are. So, tell me. Who are you? I found Poppy's letter on your coffee table. Are you... Are you my Jason? Please I need to know. Please tell me!" She begs. "I... I..." I start. She opens the diary and begins to read a certain page aloud. "'It happened again. The same dream but with new details. This time Olivia was there. She was being beaten to death by a man. My abuser from years ago was in my dream and he hit me. I can't save you all and I won't save myself. I'm sorry. Jack, Olivia, Poppy, Dad, forgive me. I can't save you. I'm sorry.' That's what you said in your dream on the sofa. You were mumbling for us to forgive you. You said the name of your attacker. Mason Bonds. He was arrested three years ago because Jason put him there. He was in your dream wasn't he? Please I know it's you. Don't lie to me! That was the one thing you could never do. You promised!" She said as my resolve broke. "You're right. I could never lie to you. I'm sorry. Olivia, it's me. It's Jason. I-I'm..." I began only to feel her ram into me and squeeze me tight. I kissed the top of her head. She sighed. I felt the baby touch her belly. We felt complete.

We agreed to keep our knowledge a secret from Jack. I let Poppy know and she buried herself into my shirt. She was wearing my favourite shirt at the time. I was happy. I never told my dad. It would be better not to. Blabber mouth. Heh. I went back to work happy. Jack noticed and smiled. We worked together really well. In the months that passed, he became a Sargent. He was thrilled. As was I. Olivia was growing and growing. I would fetch her cravings and help her up and down from her seat and out of the bath. When, in the last month of her pregnancy, Olivia tripped and I only just caught her. Well, I say caught, more cushioned. I had managed to get behind her and stop her damaging herself too badly. Thank god. I still got her to the hospital where she gave birth to our strapping baby boy. "Welcome to the world, my son, Mark Jason. You'll be a strong boy and have lots of good friends. I love you." I said to him. I handed him to Olivia as I filled out the birth certificate. I signed with my old signature. 'Eight years from now and I won't be here anymore. I know you'll be brilliant.' I thought to myself. We took him to Olivia's and we all promised to help out as much as we could. When Jack called me asking where I was, I said that the baby was born. He came down so fast, he must have broken the law. He knocked on the door and I let him in. He walked through the hall to see little Mark asleep in lil pups arms. He saw him and he broke down. "Sarge, you okay?" I asked. "He... He looks just like his daddy." He croaked out. "That he does, Rook, that he does." I said to myself. He looked at me, but I smiled at him. I sat next to lil pup and asked to hold the baby. She gave him to me and I planted a gentle kiss on his head. He clutched my finger as I sang quietly to him. "Yesterday I died, tomorrow's bleeding. Fall into your sunlight. The futures open wide, beyond believing. To know why, hope dies. Losing what was found, a world so hollow. Suspended in a compromise. The silence of this sound is soon to follow. Somehow, sundown." I glanced at the door to the garden, to stop myself from crying. "And finding answers, is forgetting all of the questions we called home. Passing the graves of the unknown. As reason clouds my eyes, with splendour fading. Illusions of the sunlight. And the reflection of a lie, will keep me waiting. With love gone for so long. And this days ending, is the proof of time killing all the faith I know, knowing that faith is all I hold." I glanced at the others, my heart breaking. "And I've lost who I am and I can't understand, why my heart is so broken, rejecting your love without, love gone wrong, lifeless words carry on, but I know all I know, is that the end's beginning. Who I am, from the start, take me home to my heart, let me go and I will run, I will not be silent. All this time spent in vain, " My head flashed with the memories of the past nine months. "Wasted years, wasted gain. All is lost, hope remains and this wars not over. There's a light," I looked up at Olivia as I sang, "there's our son, taking all shattered ones, to the place, they belong and his love will conquer all." I repeated the whole chorus again and finished with the last lines. "Yesterday i died, tomorrow's bleeding. Fall into your sunlight." I bowed my head and saw that little Mark was staring up at me, with mums hazel eyes. He gave me a little smile and I smiled back. My little boy.