Life is like a cabbage: Sometimes it is green and crunchy, sometimes dad stabs the cat with a knife because his foot ball team lose againLife is like a cabbage: sometimes it is green and round, and sometimes mom wish you were never bornIf you throw a cabbage in the air he will alway come right back down to you because he is lonely without you.If there is a fire in your house make sure you save all the cabbages before you even think about finding your childrenA cabbage does not wear a watch but he always have time for youInstead of drinking coffee in the morning try laying down with a cabbage on your stomach and you will be wide awake trust meIf you push a cabbage under water he will alway float right back up to the top because he miss you so muchA cabbage does not have ears but that does not mean that he is immune to your liesSome time you think about a cabbage and you get so excited that forget to go to sleep again for five daysSometimes you hate your life and dont want to be alive anymore but then you think about cabbage and know that everything will be okYou can paint a cabbage green but that is a waste of paint because he is already green you idiotIf you run out of pillows maybe try using a cabbageYou can tell a cabbage has gone bad if he is wearing a leather jacketif you are sad put a cabbage in your back pack and carry him every where so it feel like you have a friend that want to spend time with youA cabbage is so pretty but you are real uglyYou can ask a cabbage for financial advice but he will not say any thing because he is a cabbageYou can put a cabbage on the hood of your car. People will not under stand what you are doing but at least you are doing some thingIf you put plastic eyeballs on a cabbage and take him to the movies it might feel like you have a friend I hate my lifeDr. Suess did not ever make a poem about cababge And now he is deadA cabbage can not get pregnant believe me I triedYou can put a cabbage in a baby carriage amd take him for a walk and people will say "who this" and you can say "he is my cabbaby"If you want to trick your parents put a cabbage on your pillow at night and they will think you are sleeping but you are actually crying
