Identity Crisis

Chapter Two - The Big Move

  I woke up that morning in a daze not remembering what had happened the hour before I fell asleep. I look down at the floor seeing my sketchbook and a broken pencil. I pick the sketch book up and looked at the picture I had assumed what I had sketched last night.  

                                                                                                                Oliver's Sketch

My sketch wasn't wrong I was living in one big nightmare. All the memories flowed into my brain all at once. Skylar, the moving, screaming, crying, then dying temporarily in what you may call sleep. I got up out of bed and walked to the bathroom and started the shower; walking to the kitchen and grabbed the pencil sharpener. I go back to my room and

Slide my clothing off and sit on my shower floor; I break the pencil sharpener and slide the blade across my wrist for the first time. Thinking to myself what am I gonna do without Skylar and I watch the blood flux throughout the bath I was sitting in.

I lay there in the tub watching my blood just leave my body and I smile as I feel the sting in my wrist. My sight slowly turns to blackness and I feel myself leaving my body. I hear Skylar run in and scream and start pulling me out of the bath tub weakly holding my wrist crying and yells for my mom to call 911. My mom runs it to the bedroom on hold with 911 because their "busy". She finally gets a hold of the operator and they tell my mom they're on their way.

"Oliver, please, please don't die on me I need you!" I beg Oliver as I cradle him in my arms and hold his wrist trying to hold the blood from vacating his body. The paramedics get here and put Oliver on the stretcher into the ambulance and I get in and sit next to him holding his hand. I look at the paramedic and ask him, " Is he gonna be okay?" He nods at me silently putting the IV in Oliver's arm to give Oliver blood. I quietly sing to Oliver and then I stop and pull out my notebook and I start to write a song.

" Smile! ( I'm Not Okay)" - Credit to Tyler Hagen

(Sounds Like Harmony)

I know what it means when you hardly reply, and

There's no sign of interest cause' I'm not the guy

You're waiting for.

Do you know what it means for me to try? You're

One in a million and I'm not the type to give it all,

And run away.

So, I smile at the mirror, and I scream at the glass.
It's the only thing that makes me feel like something

Loves me back, Because I hate my image and I'm

Better off dead, But I'd rather die alone than be

With anyone else.

Now, I've fallen in love, and I've picked myself up

And I trusted a girl, but it wasn't enough and I've

Been torn to pieces and put myself back.

Now, I'm calling your bluff I know better than that,

Because all that I see when I look at you is a girl that

Wants love from a boy that ain't true. He torn you to

Pieces and let you down, but I'm not just a boy who's

Playing around when,

I smile at the mirror, and I scream at the glass. It's

The only thing that makes me feel like something loves

Me back, Because I hate my image and I'm better off

Dead, But I'd rather die alone than be with anyone

Else.

So, if you're ever afraid of what you find, when your

body grows cold, but your heart is alive, I'll be there.

And, if you're ever afraid of what you find, when your

Fingers feel lonely, but your heart doesn't mind, I'll

Be there.

I finish the song I wrote for Oliver and I fold it up and slide it into his pocket and I kiss his forehead and we get to the hospital. We get out and get in the room and they sew his arm up and tell us he's resting at the moment and he will still be out of it for about an hour after he wakes up and he can leave tomorrow. I sigh a breath of relief and I get in bed next to him and just hold him and I end up falling asleep.

I wake up not knowing where I'm at and I start to freak out and I feel someone hug me tighter and in a calm voice just go, "Shhh, it's okay." I look down next to me and blush and just covers up and falls back asleep in Skylar's arms. Skylar pulls me close and just holds me. A couple hours later I woke up and he was gone I see his bag so he must've went to the bathroom. I roll over and hear paper crunch in my pocket and I pull it out and I blush and read the song that Skylar wrote for me and I look up and he standing there quietly and I scoot over for him to sit next to me and I just lay my head on his shoulder and I whisper, "I'm sorry." He looks at me and just hugs me beginning to cry again. I rub his back, "I'm still here I'm sorry I won't leave it's okay please don't cry." I hug him tighter and my mom walks in and sighs, " Why, Why did you do it?" I look away and I don't speak she looks shocked and like someone just stabbed her and she just cries.

I get out of the hospital a couple hours later and we get home and I crawl in bed and start writing at this moment I have no clue what I'm writing I am just writing whatever ends up on this piece of paper. I finish writing and I look up at my door way and all I see is SKylar leaning against my door frame frowning. "Why, why did you do it?!" I blink blankly at his and I lay down and face the wall. He walks in and pulls me where I'm facing him and he looks me dead in the eyes and his stare is like a dog looking at her dead owner, confused. I sigh, "I was leaving anyways." He raises his voice, YOU WERE COMMITTING SUICIDE NOT LEAVING!!!" "It's not suicide if you're already dead inside." I say in a calm voice. He looks at me furiously and walks out of the room and slams the door. I had then realized what I had done...