She's ours ♡

She's here

This was the most confusing part of my life I didn't even know what was happening till it hit straight in the gut. I found out that my best friend was moving away to Florida , I literally felt my heart dropped I was honestly really disappointed because I wanted to do more things and I don't have enough time to , so I decided to many sleepovers just Justine and I . But Justine wasn't the only person I had sleepovers with sleepovers with my cousin Jaiden but I don't know something about Justine made it more special than just having sleepovers with my cousin. When day I told Justine to come and sleepover with me but I had also forgotten that I was going to have jaiden over , I thought I had the best idea to mix the two but unfortunately I was terribly mistaken . When I had sleepovers with my cousin they would be the best and we would take on the world together. But Justine and I had something or maybe I'm just deluding myself into thinking that we were a thing . I remember a time when Justine slept over  and she fell asleep earth but I couldn't help myself seeing her laying next to me in my bed I had feelings I didn't really understand back then but I realize now that I was just really turned on by her . I didn't want to wake her but I put my hands up her shirt and felt her slowly caressing every inch of skin she had hidden under her shirt . On other occasions I would kiss her while she was sleeping . I'm pretty sure she knew I liked her because when ever I want to lay near her or touch her in some way she'd let me , And I loved that she let me do . One time Justine and I fell asleep next to each other wearing shorts and a loose tops to keep our bodies cool in the really hot room , even though I wouldn't move away from her body. I woke up I 3 am in the morning and I saw her asleep I was really waiting for her to just wake up and kiss me but I knew it wasn't going to happen , so I did something I don't regret. I unbutton her shorts and slid my hands down her pants , I knew it was wrong but it felt so right . I continued to play with her a bit but then I heard her slightly moan and I got scared and pretend to go back to sleep , but I assumed she was sleeping so I put her shorts the way they were and I went back to sleep with an amazing experience. This time my cousin decide to join us but I didn't like the fact that she was taking away my friend from me , Him and Justine hit it off instantly it's like my cousin was falling for the person I wanted . The cuddling made me extremely uncomfortable because I felt so left out . One time Justine told me to join them so I got near her and my cousin , I got furious and went to the bathroom just to cry it out only for Justine's little sister to come out and catch me crying  . I told her a lie but I'm sure she knew it was . The next day I felt like shit because it was the last day Justine would be in New Jersey and I decide to cry in my room , put I didn't know that my cousin had already left as well for Justine . I never even got to tell her how I felt , what I want , and the who I wanted . She was gone without even saying goodbye , it was this point in my life I actually knew what love actually felt like regardless of the matter she left in . Till this day I still wonder if she'll ever come back to New Jersey for me  ♡