A Professor's Secret (Professor Lupin Fanfic)

Chapter 12

I awoke to the blissful sound of silence. It was a Saturday, so sleeping as long as possible was my top priority. December was nearing, just a week away actually, and the topic that has been in my mind was what on earth would I get Remus for Christmas. I stretched and sat up. Damn I could go for some chocolate right now, maybe Remus has some. And just maybe I should go check. I eagerly pull the drapes of my four-posture open only to see a depressed looking Lilian sitting by the window, gazing out absentmindedly.

“Lilian.” I call trying to gain her attention. She doesn’t seem to hear me.

I get up and approach her. The view outside displays white layers of ice. The snow mixed with the design of this castle gives off the ora of a winter wonderland. “Lilian.” I try again this time tapping her shoulder.

Her head snaps up. Her eyes were unfocused, as if I just broke a deep thought. “I can’t do it.” she whispered lightly.

I’m taken aback. What could she be talking about? “Can’t do what?”

She starts shaking her heard. A sadness engulfs her, and I feel so helpless, especially since I don’t know the cause. “I can’t marry Lucas.” she finally reveals.

I’ve been surprised by quiet a few things this year, but this by far has to be the most shocking. “What do you mean you can’t marry him? I thought you wanted to?”

She took a deep breath and I made to sit in front of her. “My parents wanted me to marry him. He’s a good person, really. I should be lucky. But I was only happy that I made my parents happy. I don’t love Lucas. I-I...” she trailed off.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. It befuddled me that I didn’t know any of this, surly she would have confided in me? “You what?” I urged her to go on.

With shaky breath she began once again. “I..I still...I should of been there..I never should of-”

“--Lilian get on with it.” I inserted. I was not trying to be mean, but I knew the sooner she got it out the sooner she would feel better.

“I still love Gil.” she choked out.

My eyes widened. “What? Lockhart?”

She nodded. “I know he lost his memory. I know he doesn’t remember me. But I still-- mind you I try very hard not to-- think of him everyday.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” I asked.

“I’m sorry. I just tried to burry it. If I would of said something it would of made it real, then I couldn’t keep lying to myself.” she spoke and sounded so broken.

“And you can’t keep lying to yourself anymore.” I responded with realization.

“Exactly. Everyday I hate myself for not helping him. I should of. I let them take him. I just pretended it never happened.”

My heart broke for her. Last year, I probably wouldn’t of understood. I had Michael, but I wasn’t in love with Michael. But now I can put myself in her position and just imagine if that were to happen to Remus and I. I couldn’t bare the thought. I took her hand and squeezed it. “Lilian its not your fault. If you would of tried to do anything they would have discovered the relationship you had with him, he would of been in more trouble, and so would you have been.”

“I know I try to tell myself that. But its him. I love him, its all for him. And I don’t know what to do, I don’t think I could go on and start a life without him.” as she speaks tears start to run down her face, “I told him all the time Heaven was a place on earth with him, now hell is like my home.”

“Lilian, I never knew you felt like that about him. I always thought it was just a fling. I’m so sorry I ever teased you about it.” I told her sincerely. I felt like a proper bitch right now.

However to my surprise she smiled. “Don’t apologies. I actually got excited every time you mentioned him. It brought back memories.”

I smiled back. Moping would get her nowhere. “Lilian I don’t care what we have to do, I’ll help you find him and get him back.” I assured her.

She smiled but shook her head. “Roxanna no, I know you already have a lot to deal with. Remus, Michael, Sirius Black, not to mention our newts. You don’t have to worry about me.”

I cringe slightly at the mention of Sirius Black, despite the various dementors around the school, I’ve had so much going on that I had not really thought about him for a while. “Nevertheless I want to help you. They say that the world was built for two, and It’s true, I’ve got Remus, and I couldn’t be happier. My best friend has to have her happiness too.”

For the first time since this conversation started I saw hope fill Lilian’s face.

　

Later that afternoon I was finally able to go see Remus. I approached his classroom to notice he was not there. Instead there was a note on his desk. It read:

Roxanna find the one-eyed witch, tap your wand on it and say Dissendium, use the hump to access a secret tunnel that will lead you to hogsmead. I’ll be waiting. -Remus

My heart fluttered. Would this be out first date? I’m damn glad I decided to wear what I was wearing; A black dress that went up just above my knees with laced sleeves, and black tights. I conjured up a mirror real quick to check on my hair and makeup before I proceeded with his directions.

The walk down the passage was a bloody drag. Nearly an hour. Honestly. I kept telling myself it was worth it. Finally after an eternity the earth started to incline up and I was lead to an open cellar door, with non-other than Remus waiting for me on the other side. He extended a hand down to help lift me up, I took it and instantly he pulled up my slim frame into the cellar and into an embrace.

“About time you get here.” he says teasingly.

I resist the urge to kick him. I just walked through a bloody tunnel to get to him. Instead I pretend to lean up and kiss him only to bite his lip. He flinches then begins to chuckle. “You deserve that darling.” I tell him with a smirk, “I nearly ruined my shoes down there.”

“I suppose so.” he agrees before kissing me for real this time. I lose myself. He’s amazing. I trail small kisses along his jaw, to which he responds by tightening his grip on my waste.

“Professor control yourself.” I say rather seductively.

He smirks. He runs his hand alongside my face, much like Michael had tried to do, but I have no desire to push Remus’ hand away. He looks at me and then takes my hand leading me to a corner. It’s actually pretty warm down here, I imagine he must of put some kind of charm. Its rather dim as a flickering lantern is the only source of light. “Tell me all the things you want to do.” he whispers in my ear.

My heart begins to pound, to the point where I’m sure he could hear it. Could this really be happening? My breath stops in my throat. I fill myself stiffen a bit. Could he mean what I think he means? I look into his eyes.

Moment of truth?

　

A/N: Comment and let me know what you want to happen!