Akatsuki Rainbow: Red (Sasori x Deidara)

Chapter 5: A Confession Untold

Sasori sat alone in his room, pondering and pondering what to do next. Never before in his life had he been so hesitant, so confused about a single path of action. Should he or should he not tell Deidara? If he does spill the beans, what should he say? He could not risk any information being misunderstood, and therefore being embarrassed. How confusing. But if he doesn't tell Deidara, he could only hope to own unrequited love. 

Sasori sighed, unable to come to terms with his indecision. He moped about all da,y while Deidara had gone shopping, about this and that and not really anything in particular besides his churning emotions. By late afternoon, he had decided on a course of action. He would write a letter, in the form of a note. If he hid it somewhere that Deidara would be sure to find it, without being obvious about who put it there, his partner may just become curious enough to confront him himself. In that case, Sasori need only confirm or deny, without the mess of starting a conversation and talking in circles. What a great plan; it's completely foolproof. 

As Sasori sat at his desk again, he picked up a pen and a clean sheet of paper, and began to write. 

Deidara, 

You may not know this, but you are dear to me. Forgive me for all the times that I had rejected your art and your sense of self; it is stupid, but perhaps it is a base part of who you are.  You are not only irreplaceable to the Akatsuki, but to me as a partner. Though your existence is a giant mess of an explosion, I hope you find your purpose someday, and I hope it is with me. Your speech impediment is slightly attractive. 

Sasori.

Now, Sasori was not entirely satisfied with what he had wrote, but it was the best he could come up with all at once. He had already taken off the cheezy 'I love you.' as well as the 'Call me.' Love letters were generic, but Sasori was not basic. 

He folded the paper in an origami scorpion and hid it at the bottom of Deidara's pouch of clay, so it would have to be found sooner or later. Just as he put back Deidara's items as they originally were beside his bed and quickly returned to his usual position as his desk, Deidara and Tobi came back with food items as well as clothes and such. Releasing his transformation, Deidara walked into their shared room and collapsed onto the bed. 

"Hey Danna, un." 

"What?" Though Sasori intended to put up a menacing tone, it sounded more like a regular reply. 

"Leader-sama said that it's time to start gathering tailed beasts. The one-tailed should be in the Sand Village, so he wants us to go. But Danna, isn't that your home or something?" 

"It was. But my home is nowhere if not here." 

"If you say so, Danna, yeah." At this, Deidara fell silent, and just busied himself with organizing any items he would need for the mission. 

"I would urge you to focus more on your part of the job than on how agreeable I am to this. It was my decision to become a rogue ninja, so it does not matter whether or not I am from the Sand." 

"But you wouldn't be upset if I killed your extended family or old friends or something? What if I accidentally hit a school or something? You know I'm not good at fixing things like you are. I can only blow things up, un." Deidara mentioned a bit rejectedly. It would definitely upset him if his Danna were to become even more removed from him because of this mission. 

"A school? Why?" 

"It's where all your old friends would be, yeah?" 

"Deidara."

"Hm?"

"I am well over 30 years old. If I had any friends who knew me in this form, they would be dead already." 

"Oh...... Oh." Speechless, Deidara decided it would be better to just shut up. 

"Well, I'll just go to sleep now, yeah? Leader-sama probably wants us to start right away tomorrow morning." Sasori silently nodded in agreement. He finished adding his newest poison to Hiruko as well as performing maintenance on his own body parts just in case. He lifted himself with chakra to his bed, needing a bit of mental rest. 

Tomorrow would come soon, and Deidara and him would face it together. He couldn't be more satisfied with their current situation. Deidara would come home after the fight when he runs out of clay, and find the note. Then he would confess to Sasori his feelings, as they happily spend the money they earned on the mission together. See? A foolproof plan. Even though Sasori made sure that all his body parts were getting rested, something was not right. He felt a strange pressure, a confining clenching of sorts, around his heart. It was slightly harder for him to breathe that night, so he got up to do multiple body checks again. However, he couldn't find the source of the strange sensation. What sort of bodily function was this?