Love is Blind

"Do you have bottoms bigger than a size six in your wardrobe Hannah?" Alice was frantically looking in my wardrobe for a set of clothes that would actually look appropriate and not make her look like she had shrunk her clothes in the wash.

"Hey! It's not my fault that you forgot to pack a spare set of clothes, you'd think you would remember since you were going to a sleepover". I rolled my eyes; I always bought back up clothes to a sleepover. Trust Alice to forget.

"Yeah, well I thought I would wear my white jeans didn't I?" I burst into a frenzied fit of giggles at the memory. We had been eating tomato pasta when Alice had spilt all of her tomato sauce onto the crotch of her white skinny’s. Bright red sauce in the crotch of white jeans was definitely not a good look. Especially for a teenaged girl.

"It's not funny", she grumbled.

"It is for me, maybe not so much for you, anyway I don’t have any clothes that will fit you, seeing as I'm a size six and your a size 12, so bad luck my giantess of a friend," I suppressed a giggle as I saw her face.

"What the hell am I going to do?"

"Well, you could take the bus back to your house in your pajamas", she raised her eyebrows. "Sorry just trying to help, don't go all pms-ing on me," I paused then broke into a fit of giggles as I realised how appropriate that was.

"Hannah!!"

"Sorry, fine, well I guess I could drive to your house and get your clothes for you". Her face lit up.

"Would you really do that? You know I live like an hour away right?"

"Well, there isn’t much choice since you can't be bothered to take your driving test and you can't walk," I rolled my eyes, Alice was so lazy!

"Yay!! Oh my god, Hannah you are the best!"

"Yeah, I know, just give me your house keys"

"Thanks, I love you!!"

"Yeah, whatever", I turn to go.

"I feel really bad now", I turned back around to face her.

"You should," I joked.

"Shall I come with you?"

"I guess you could if you sit on towel, I don't want my brand new car to have a red smear on the seat, it will look wrong and inappropriate and probably stain so BE careful!"

"Your so difficult"

"I know"

Ten minutes later we were sat in the car, I put my belt on and started the car.

"Put your seatbelt on then", I had noticed that Alice wasn't wearing her belt and she didn't look like she was planning too.

"No, what's the point, the roads won't be busy and I trust your driving skills."

"Don't be stupid, Alice, put it on, what's the point in risking your life?"

"I'm not wearing it, don't boss me around. It's not cool so just drive already."

I sighed at her stubbornness as I put the car into gear; Alice had been my best friend for as long as I could remember. She's always been there for me, even when I became the official 'social reject' of the school. She gets bullied because of me, but it's not that bad for her because of her stubbornness, luckily she's got enough of that for the two of us. I don't know what I'd do without her to be honest; Monica would drive me insane without her. Monica was the 'queen bee' of the school, you had a choice to either praise her or become the school victim, the outcast; like me. I didn't get that choice, I was automatically put as the reject when I accidentally spilt my chocolate milkshake on her Dolce and Gabbina skirt in year 7, she never forgave me for that. I doubt she ever would.

Alice could have gotten out of it, if she'd pretended to not know me and go of with monica and her gang then she would have been fine. After all she is really pretty, far prettier than me. Her confidence and looks always put me in the shadow, but I didn't mind, I liked it really. Boys used to be asking her out all the time before she chose 'me over them'. She always stuck by me no matter what, and that's why she will always be the bestest friend I could ever have asked for. I love her to pieces even though she can be a bit of an annoying bitch sometimes, but hey, we're not all perfect!

“Hurry up will you? These jeans are starting to get really uncomfortable!”

“Calm down, I’m doing the limit Alice”

“I don’t care, there are like no cars on the road so go faster, or are you going to go all safety protective of me again? Jeeez, you’re turning into my mother! Not a good thing Hannah!”

I sighed, not wanting to get into an argument I pushed on the pedal. We were going really fast now and I was way out of my comfort zone. God, I only passed my driving test a week ago!

“Faster! Faster! Faster!” she egged me on. I looked at the speed dial. Christ! We were doing over 100! Alice was laughing beside me, “Weeeeeeee!” she screeched.

Before I could slow down we had zoomed off a hill. My knackered, old car was suspended into the air for a few seconds before it was smacked back down onto the road and we dived down the hill.

I slammed onto the brakes.

Nothing happened.

I pressed it again and again, and still nothing happened. All the while we were picking up pace and slowly I realised I had no control over the car at all.

“Errr, ok Hannah, maybe you should put the brakes on now?” I looked over at her and her face grew worried when she saw the panic etched onto my face.

“Alice, Alice! The brakes aren’t working!” I screamed with terror, I realised we were going to die and there was nothing I could do about it. The car was still spiralling out of control. “Alice, Alice I’m so sorry!” I didn’t know why I was apologising. I just knew it was my fault.

“Shit!” she screamed, and scrambled for her belt. But it was too late, the car reached the bottom of the hill and we both slammed forward. My seatbelt locked and I was stopped; my belt jutting into my chest, it hurt so much, but I knew it might have saved my life.

I couldn’t stop shaking, trembling I looked over at Alice, she’d gone forward into the dashboard because there had been no belt to stop her. I couldn’t see her face; it was smashed into the dashboard. The airbag came up; only it was too late. Far too late. It flung Alice back into her seat and my breathing stopped altogether. Her face was all smashed in, a big bloody mess of red. I screamed her name, but I got no response I knew I wouldn’t. I looked in horror at her arm; it had got tangled up with the seatbelt in her frantic attempt to put it on. It had been wrenched from her socket with brutal force, the skin and muscle had been torn apart and her arm now lay twisted and mangled beside her. My mind froze, everything froze, and all I saw was my best friend, the only thing I ever lived for. She was dead, beside me and she was dead because of me.

I broke down then, the car had strolled to a stop, but I didn’t care, to be honest I wanted the stupid car to carry on crash into something, so I would not be alone, so I could be with Alice again.

Suddenly my vision flickered, I couldn’t see anything, everything had gone and all I saw was black, and then white and then black again. It continued for what seemed like forever. At first I thought that I was just falling into unconsciousness, but then I realized I could still feel everything, sense everything. Then everything was black, I couldn’t see anything. I knew I should be panicking, but I felt as if I had no energy left at all, I couldn’t move. And I didn’t try; I had given up on the world.

I could feel countless tears pouring down my face although I knew I was making no sound, when I heard a sound in the distance, the heavy chugging of metal. I thought hard, what could it be? Then I realised and a tiny smile reached my face, as I knew my fate had come for me.

The car had stopped on a train track.

And a train was coming.

I didn’t do anything, I didn’t move, or try to get away; I didn’t want too. I just waited and listened to the growing sound of my ending.

And finally, I felt no more.