Letter to a friend..

Fourth Year High School [part 1]

Here I am, facing my last year in high shool, feeling again the dilema of not having close friends in class. My feelings was indeed true. Badet, Seong Min and I are in 3 different sections this year. Good thing Cyla bear showed up and she became one of my buddies all year.

Upon entering the classroom and getting to know my new classmates, I realized, they weren't bad afterall.

Along with my excitement of finishing up my high school life and looking forward to visiting you sometime, our family is facing a very serious problem.

Tita Lily, my father's only sister has been diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer.

Great! Just great..two of the most important people in my life has cancer.

For a month, my father has been back ang forth Pampanga to check-up on his sister. Until they decided to bring tita to PGH to get some more help for medication. Then, my father decided that it is better to just bring tita home here in Cavite to be taken care off and not continue with chemotherapy session because it will just worsen the pain she's been feeling.

Along with that, Lolo has not been eating days, week, I don't know. Because he is very much depressed with what is happening to his only daughter.

So far, I have been coping up really good in school. Everyday we visit tita and bring her fruits, healthy foods, and well she is doing great. We were just being very careful that there are days that we cannot come near her when we have cough or colds cause her immune system is already very weak.

August 2007 came and this month is just very busy for us.

We had 60 korean visitors who are here for a 2 weeks to study english. And so, my father and mother is in-charge of  accomodating them and looking for teachers to teach them because in two weeks they will have to perform a simple drama in english. I am in-charge with the kids or the elementary students, we will perform a simple dance and with simple english sentence introdution at the beginning. Every night, we have a practice for that.

At August 10, 2011, 4 am, mom got a call from my father saying that Tita left us already.

My mom, went out to arrange the funeral, then as for me, I just went on crying because I cannot sleep again. Good thing my brother was there to calm me down.

At 7am, of course I still went to school to inform my teachers that I won't be going to school for a while though examination week is coming up.

So, my routine became, to stay at the wake half day, then at 6pm till 8pm go to church to teach english to koreans, then go back to the wake and go home at 5am to sleep for awhile, take a bath, and change clothes. Sometimes I go with my parent's to the Korean's iteneraries.

My father doesn't want it to be too long so at August 15, Tita had her internment.

Though there is a typhoon, we still went on.

That night was also the date of the performance of the koreans.

I was already trying to be happy and trying to cope up until the next day. When I came home at 9pm, I saw a text from Seong Min.

August 16, at 10 am..Kevin passed away.

I don't know what to do.

I don't know what to react.

I am acting so strong but deep inside, I am so weak.

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Note: This was on draft in my head, on the paper and here for a long time already. Now, I decided to continue it but it seems like I can't. I think I still have to collect my feelings in order to be able to say what I felt that time, in order to say the right words, and in order to have courage to say what really is the emotion that i kept and nearly forgotten for several years.

So, 'till here..I don't know when will be the continuation. I am so busy with my Practicum nowadays.. :)

I miss you kev.. :)