Thanks to the wonderful MichaelBeMine, I came up with the idea to base my chapters from a few of my favorite songs! At first I would just write the idea that Beyonce' was inspired by Michael, and each moment they spent together, would reflect her wo...
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You gotta feel that heat.. And we can ride the boogie.. Share that beat of love..
CHAPTER 13: ROCK WITH YOU (Radio Music Awards)
Aladdin Casino & Resort- Las Vegas, Nevada January 26, 2003 (one year, and a month later)
There's been a few important things that I've learned in my lifetime, some information I hold close to my heart, other things I only hold to form my personal character. Something that I've noticed without making much of an effort is, that people come, and people go, it's just the way of life. They'll drift out of a person's life and just like that, it's as if they never existed.
I never wanted that to happen between Beyonce and I, but she never really gave me a fighting chance. I tried convincing myself that it wasn't me, that I wasn't being overly dramatic. She went from calling me on a daily basis, to calling me whenever she got the free time. I couldn't be that mad at her, I would look crazy if I did. But it couldn't stop the hurtful thoughts running through my mind. After spending our first night together, I was aware of the risks we would both take. After sex, feelings change, sometimes for the better, then at times it can be so intense that it burns.
Our studio session incident was a primary example of that. She never even considered my feelings, before inviting her little friend, and his unruly crew of people to a private studio session. On top of that, she didn't think twice that I invited a very close friend of mine to spend time with her, to mentor her in a way. She ruined that moment, and I wasn't even sure if I could convince Luther to come back again. Beyonce never considered my thoughts, and that's because she assumed I wouldn't care.
Now why would she do that? Oh yeah that's right, because I was sleeping with her. That's where she had me confused with someone else. My private life, and my work ethic were two completely things. I didn't play games while in the studio, and sadly in her case, she didn't work the same..
After that things just didn't flow right for us anymore. What I mean by that is, phone conversations were cut short, I always got the 'Oh, I'll call you right back' crap. Not to add, if either one of us were in a nearby city, or simply passing each other during promotional events, something would always 'Come up' or the typical 'I got swamped'line was a regular.
Whenever I would bring up that night we shared with each other, she would always minimize my worries. I specifically told her that I wasn't into one night stands, and she would have to accept it, whether she liked it or not. She'd always give me that adorable laugh, and say don't worry so much, and that she cared for me and no one else. I still couldn't help questioning her, because actions speak louder than words. It didn't help that people were buzzing, about her being with that one person that caused all of the friction between us in the first place.
I always took pride in making sure that I wasn't a judgmental person. Judging a book by it's cover is pointless unless you really know that person for who they are, I couldn't stand that- because people did it to me all the time. But this Jay-Z.. Shawn, whoever the hell he is, looked like nothing but trouble.
