It doesn't matter , I love you ( Royce - One Shot )

Jacob.

His hands ran up and down my naked chest , giving me chills.The touch of his lips against my skin just... felt so right. I feel a tugging at my boxers , he wanted them down. I love him but... I can't let it happen. " No , stop ", I pushed his hands away. " What's wrong ? ", he looked up at me. " I-I just can't do it Chres ", I sat up in bed. 

" Do what ? Have sex with me ? Because if that's the case , we can wait Ja- ", I shook my head. " No , it's not that Chresanto. It's just... I can't talk about it ", I sigh. " If that isn't the problem... then what is Jay ? You've been holding me off for a while , and I told you I don't mind waiting. So what is it ? ", he asked. I look down at my hands that were placed in my lap.

Should I talk to him about it ? 

Yes Jacob , tell him now.

Wait... who's talking ? 

I'm your conscience. Now listen to me Jacob... It's time to tell him.

What if he doesn't accept it , or won't even speak to me anymore ?

And there's no telling if he will or not but , don't doubt yourself . 

Get out of my head ! Shoo !

" Jay , you okay ? ", Chres shook me. " Y-yeah , I'm fine ", I responded with a nod. " So... what is it ? ", he asked. " I don't really wanna ta- ", he cut me off. " Jacob , I'm tired of being confused. I just wanna know what the problem is. I promise you , we can work through whatever ", he said." I guarentee you that we can't work through this ", Few tears fell down my face. " I know for a fact that we can. Now...just tell me already ", he placed his thumbs over my soaked cheeks and wipe the tears away.

Just do it.... you can do it.

" I-I'm HIV positive  ", my heart sank as the words came out of my mouth. 

There was an awkward silence... very awkward. 

The silence was killing me." Ch-Chresanto ? ", my voice cracked. 

" Jacob.... I-", he began." It's okay , I understand. You don't want to see me ever again...", tears stream down my face. After what seemed like hours of crying , I felt arms wrapped around my torso in a comforting sense. He pulled me close to him. " Shh Jacob , I'm not going anywhere. I promised you that earlier , and I'm not leaving now ", he stated.

" B-but Chres... I have a disease ", A slight sniffle escaped. " That doesn't matter to me Jacob ", his left hand rubbing up and down my back. " You sure ? ", I raised an eyebrow. " Yes Jay ", he scooted closer to me. " I still wanna make love to you ", he whispered in my ear. " B-but... you know you can get it if we do.... ", I looked at him confused.

" I know that. But , I love you ", he mumbled into my neck. " I-I don't know about that Ch-Chres... Oooo ", A flow of pleasure filled my body as I felt Chresanto grip my buddy down there. " You like that ? ", he continued to rub my member in a circular motion. " Yasss ", I grip the sheets , as my head is sent backwards in a flying motion. 

"  Am I allowed to... ya know ? ", he looked down at my boxers , then back at me. " G-go ahead ", I watched as he pulled down my boxers slowly. Now nervousness overtook me. I felt my body tense up. " You okay ? ", he looked up at me. " I don't think we should. It's going to ruin your life forever ", I look at my hands in which are placed in my lap.