Shallow Waters

Best Friends and Minor Slip Ups

I was almost visibly shaking as she approached me silently and cautiously, as if I was fake.  I never thought I'd see her again, not after they forced this life on me.  She sat down and everything became so real all of a sudden.  My past had found me though not in the way I thought it would.

“It’s been a long time Tessa.”  I closed my eyes briefly before opening them to look at her.  There was a certain sense of glee and happiness that just radiated off of her.  “It has been, but you can’t call me that anymore.”  She looked at me curiously, obviously not understanding why.

Just as she was about to question me about it, Mr. Haven began class.  The present could not know about the past, was the last thing to pass through my thoughts before I started taking the notes.  As I was writing the notes he was writing on the board, a note landed on my desk in front of me.

Why can’t I call you by your name?

It was a simple question with a complicated answer.  One that I can’t really tell anyone about, even if they were my friend.

There are some things that I’m just not allowed to explain.  You know about what happened, the things I was forced to do.

I tossed it back and went back to taking the notes.  Moments later it landed right back on my desk.

I know what happened.  I lost my best friend because of it, and things were never the same.

A solitary tear rolled down my cheek as I remembered what happened back then.  I never wanted to leave, but I also knew that leaving would keep me alive.  The choices I was forced to make killed me, they took everything away from me.

If it was something I could’ve stopped or prevented I would’ve, but I couldn’t and I’m sorry.

Passing it back, I refused to look her way for the rest of class.  When the bell rang, I put my things away and started to leave when a smaller hand grabbed mine.  “I’ve missed you, more than words can say.”  I turned and gave a small smile.  She returned it with one that I used to love.  “I know, just as I have missed you.  Hell I missed everyone, even fucking Lana.”

She chuckled making me grin widely.  I forgot how easy it was to joke with her.  “Yeah that’s pretty sad right there but understandable.  Especially after five years.  Though if you were wondering, Lana has actually changed quite a bit.  She’s no longer miss popular.”  That was no something I was expecting, especially from Queen Bitch Lana.  When I shook my head in disbelief, she just nodded indicating that it was true.

“Holy shit, never expected that, we were lucky if she changed her hair style before.”  She full on laughed and tried to calm herself down.  I looked at the clock and noted that I had to go.  “We’re going to be late to class, I should hurry up.”  Her expression changed suddenly, almost depressed like, something I had never seen on her before.  She nodded and then picked her things up off the desk.

As I walked out the door I could have sworn she had said something but I ignored it.  She wasn’t the only one to miss the past and she wouldn’t understand my circumstances.

“Hey Lyssa, where you been?  We’ve been waiting for you.”  I looked up at Jenni and Melinda, who were standing by the door to class.  Melinda I could tell noticed something was wrong but was obviously going to wait until we were alone to say anything.

“I was helping the new girl, giving her directions.”  Jenni bought my easily told lie but Melinda, not so much.  We walked into class and split up to our seats.  Jenni sat in front next to Todd, while Melinda and I sat in the back together.  I still couldn’t believe that Jodi was here, not to say I wasn’t happy with that, just surprised.  I’m more worried that he’ll find out where I am.