Arms Wide Open (One Shots for Fanfiction "His English Heart")

Night Terrors

A/N: Ok guys, this is a little one shot I'm doing because the idea for it just started to write itself. I wasn't planning it, my fingers just decided to go.

JUST A WARNING: This may or may not be triggering if you have anxiety or depression because it is written in second person and is dealing with nightmares. It may do nothing at all but I feel that it is necessary to mention anyway. I pray that my writing wouldn't do that to any of you beautiful people (I would take it down if it did), it would simply break my heart.

That being said... please enjoy the chapter.

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Your heart pounds in your chest and you look around frantically, scraping your hands along in the dark. You don’t have a clue where you are.

“TOM!!!!” The guttural cry tears from your lips in a panicked way. You can’t see him. Weren’t you just in your bed, snuggled up into him? Wasn’t he just wrapping his arms around you as you both rested? But he wasn’t anywhere to be sensed. You tripped in the darkness and the shadows were shifting around you, shapes and forms drifting in and out of existence. And you were completely terrified. Not of this darkness but of the fact that it had seemed to have taken your husband from you. It had torn you out of his arms. Where was he?!

The panic begins to rise in your throat like bile, if you actually had vision of any use right now you would be seeing spots. Your heart literally cannot beat any faster without exploding itself.

WHERE. IS. HE.

You see him for a moment and a smile of relief spreads across your face, you reach out to grab his hand and he is yanked back into the shadows, away from you, eyes open wide in terror and lips parted, silently screaming your name.

“Come back!” Is your desperate plea.

You turn and he’s there but when he hugs you his arms go ice cold, his hands dig into your skin in what feels like a poisoned touch. Suddenly he’s no longer Tom, but a creature of the shadows, sneering at you, mocking you, teasing you.

"How could I ever love one such as you? You're pitiful and weak, always clinging to me in your blind fantasy. You disgust me Joanna." The voice belonged to him but with a menacing edge that even as Loki he could not portray.

You scream and fall backwards; the not-Tom cackles in a mockery of the laugh you love and turns back into the swirling darkness. You pick yourself off the ground and cry out in utter despair, for his words have just shattered you.

For what seems like infinity you wander, losing hope. Every Tom you see is fake, every smile and laugh holds evil, every hug holds ice and harsh hands, and every word is meant to tear you apart from the heart out. Then finally you’re alone but for the dark figures you see lurking out of the corner of your eye.

“TOM. PLEASE. WHERE ARE YOU?!” You’re nearly too scared to cry, your throat almost too dry to scream, your knees almost too weak to stand. You can’t take this anymore, you crack. The anxiety takes you over. You’re completely and utterly alone in this darkness and he is gone.

“Love, wake up! Joanna, my love, please wake up. Please? You’re scaring me, wake up love.” His voice is worried; a hint of fear can be heard at the end. You struggle out of your dark dream world towards that voice, that beautiful, worried, English voice. Your mind grasps at it; he’s your only hope. The shadows tell you that he isn’t there and you nearly believe them. Another aching cry escapes from your lips, calling out for him.

“Joanna.” Your name, spoken softly, spoken with both worry and care, you are finally able to open your eyes. Your eyes meet his and suddenly you’re bawling. You don’t care how weak it looks, you feel that weak. You curl your shaking body into his arms and he strokes your hair gently, speaking your name, telling you that everything is alright, that you are safe.

“Please be real. Please be real. This time please be real.” You say the words to yourself, your voice hoarse and weak. It cracks as you talk and is higher than normal, like a child’s filled with terror. Your breath is still coming in short, jerky, little gasps.

He doesn’t let you go and his arms stay warm. “Why would you believe that I’m not real?” He looks at you with sorrowful blue/green eyes, his eyebrows furrowing upward in a way that makes him look both sad and scared at the same time. You hate him looking like that and can only imagine what your pitiful sight must be doing to him.

“Joanna I am real. Believe me, I am here and I am real.” His voice cracks with emotion as he continues to hold you tightly. He kisses your forehead gently and tears make their way down his cheeks.

“It was only a nightmare love… I’m still here.” Tom caresses your cheek gently as he holds you, rocking the both of you back and forth gently. “I’m still here.” He whispers almost too softly to hear.

You allow your tense muscles to relax and you let yourself crumple up into him more than a cloth doll. He leans back against the headboard of the bed and you both just lay there for the longest time, his silent reassurance more comforting than a thousand love songs.

Finally you’ve mostly calmed but he refuses to let you go the rest of the night. With one arm he pulls the duvet over the both of you and then returns to completely encasing you in his arms.

“Joanna I love you so very much. I would do absolutely anything to keep you safe.” Tom whispers softly in your ear. Every word he speaks to you is still like a drop of rain to a parched field, your saving grace.

“Just please don’t let me go.” You say softly and cuddle into him more, reaching for his warmth. Your tears have finally abated and left their tracks down your cheeks. You feel exhausted and tired but now you feel protected, you are not alone.

“Joanna I will not ever let you go even if the fate of the universe itself depended upon it.” He spoke so sincerely that any worry you had left from your dreams was starting to fade at last.

You start to fall asleep. You feel Tom’s heartbeat slow and steady in his chest. You feel the warmth of his body still holding you protectively. You hear his gentle breathing and it starts to lull you into slumber once again.

Tom is safe.

Tom is here.

You’re at peace.