Random Stories and Stuff From Over the Years

A Day in the Life of A Pencil

 These were a bunch of stories that I have just found. I thought that they were funny and I even dated them as to when I wrote them. So I thought that i'd put them up here for just a laugh or whatever.

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   I was on a mission, a very important mission.  It was a mission to reclaim my rightful spot. Before I was number one! The best! Then Ticonderoga came. Because of that pencil I was knocked right down to number two. I was lounging back in the office when I heard a familiar knock on my door. The chief, Mr. Dixie, came in. He looked especially sharpened today. He didn’t look amused though. “Alright Bic, it’s time for you to try and get your spot back. I have a soldier down on the battle field and I need you to replace him. Mind you that you may not come back from this mission. But if you do then the number one spot is all yours.”He said. I stood up and I could feel my eraser shaking, “Yes sir, I’ll do it.”I replied in the most stable voice I could manage. Mr. Dixie nodded and headed out of my office. I walked down the long corridor, stepping over the shavings of my brethren. It made me sad to see such fine pencils now lying on the floor. As I passed the dreaded sharpener I looked at it with all of the courage I could before I headed out. I jumped out of the backpack and landed on the floor. The pain was great, but the pain of knowing that my dear Pencilla was gone. I heard a loud noise and winced slightly as two fingers quickly enclosed around my frame. I knew that I would be horribly disfigured by the end of this mission. If I was unbroken that is. I saw my comrade as he was going back into the backpack. He was chewed up and broken. I felt my heart go out to him as he looked at me weakly, “B… be careful… the battle field is… t-terrible… today…”He whispered. I swallowed my fear and replaced it with a prideful mask. My comrade was put back into Bagopolis and I saw the horrible sharpener come out of the bag. He tipped my head into it and I began to scream as I felt its blades sink into my head. Layer after layer was taken off and I felt close to passing out. Finally when the heathen thought that I was good they took me out. I was tipped toward the paper and felt my head begin to grind down onto the paper who cried in pain. I felt sorry for it but at the same time there was no way that I could abandon this mission. I would come out victorious! This was not an option for me I was going to make it through. Eventually the writing stopped and I thought that this was over. I was dull and very tired. Too bad the heathen just paused to think. I started being lifted toward its mouth and felt my heart sink. “NO!”I cried as I felt teeth close around me. I felt my lead begin to splinter and crack. That was it, if I couldn’t survive this then I didn’t deserve to be No.1 at all. I closed my eyes and waited. Once the beast was done chewing on me I was banged against the desk. I screamed over and over.

Twenty-five long minutes later…

   I was twitching horribly. My body was racked with spasms of pain and annoyance. Didn’t this kid ever take a break? No of course not. The bell rang suddenly and I was flung back into Bagopolis. I slammed into the floor of the corridor I had jumped out of and groaned. I had made it, the No.1 spot was mine. “Bad news Bic. Ticonderoga just completed three flawless missions in a row. You’re still not number one. Sorry kid.”He said. I twitched; oh if I could move then I’d surely wring his neck. “Alright, someone take him to the inner confines. I twitched again as they drug my body off. Oh just wait.