Revenge is the only way

"That day"

31.12.2011. Italy

It was the last day of that year. I loved new years, celebrations, lights people were looking happier more beautiful. They were nicer to each other 

It was the first time my parents let me celebrate with my friends. I was so happy I felt mature and safe nobody couldn't do anything to me I was untouchable or so I thought. 

I wore my new dress and boots because I was too young to wear heels, I curled my hair and I was ready to go. 

On the town square was the concert of some band and plan was to meet my friends next to the mall just a  couple of mints from the concert. I was there about 15 mints earlier because I didn't want to be late on my first real night out. 

So while I was waiting one man approached me he was drunk I was able to sent the smell of alcohol coming from his mouth. He put a gun on my chest and told me not to scream or I'm dead. I was shaking but I was sure someone anyone will see this drunk man near me, somebody will tell something, help me. But all of them were to busy with their lives, they all were still so happy. None saw anything. I realized I was alone that's when I started to cry. 

He told me to walk and if I make just one wrong move that's going t be my last. I knew I couldn't escape he was bigger, stronger and faster then me. There was no way out. We went in some old house, then down the stairs into the basement. 

He raped me I didn't even try to fight, that was the battle I was going to lose so why even trying. When he was done he left me, told me to be good girl, and not to tell anyone.

And that's exactly what I did, I stayed silent because I was ashamed of myself, I felt like it was my fault like I was dirty and that was the dirt I wasn't able to wash off. So I tried to forget it so keep living and make sure none ever finds out. 

I found my way back to the concert, but I couldn't find friends they were having fun somewhere so I spent that evening on my own thinking about everything. People weren't that beautiful anymore, they were ugly selfish creatures they were thinking only about themselves, their happiness their satisfaction and they were fine like that. They would get what they want and I realized that's the only way to live. To take care of yourself only yourself, to make sure you're happy and not to care about anybody else. 

I told my parents I feel and that's how i ripped my dress, they believed me why wouldn't they.

Four years later we moved to America I found new friends and I felt better because I didn't have to pass by that street every day, memories started to fade away and my new life was going to begin.