Revenge is the only way

July 1996

One month ago I met her. And still after 30 days a can't believe how happy I am. Whole world is mine when she's with me. I never believed in God but now, now I'm not sure. That day I saw her and I knew what I want in live I found out what love really is, and now after 30 days, 720 hours of loving her I know like I knew the first time, I want to merry her. I'm going to give her everything I can I'll make sure she's happy, safe and loved and I'll do that no matter what. Only one thing that has to be done before our perfect life finally begins. I have to ask her if that's what she wants too. 

I'm nervous, scared more like terrified like never before my hands are shaking my skin is so pale and inside I'm on fire. I can't breath. I didn't have enough money for big, fancy ring and I'm just praying that this pennyworth ring with white flower on it and two balloons will be enough. I could've asked her uncle for money but that's not me and I want her to understand what I can and can't afford. So i decided to try with this flower ring and blue and pink balloon.

I wanted to pay for a great car so at least once I can come to her house like her uncle or any other family member but there was not enough money.. So I took my bike, I washed it  and painted it. It looked like new. I putted on my new jeans, white shirt and new black jacket, I even wore a tie, old one that my father wore for his wedding but still it was only tie i had. Because he wore it only that day it didn't look that bad, If you ask me it was actually the best part of my outfit. I jumped on my bike feeling good, better then I did until now, with balloons tied on the opposite sides of my bike and with a small bag in my pocket and a flower ring in it. 

While I was riding the bike all I could think off was what will I do if she says no. Would I be able to continue my life normally, or I would kill myself, I would probably die at that same moment, my heart would break and that would be my end. When I came to her house in my head I had so many scenarios and in all of them she looked at me like I was a fool. All of them ended up with her refusing me and not even one ended with her saying yes.

I came in and asked for Carlo because out of respect before I asked her I wanted to ask him for her hand in marriage and only man that could give her to me was one and only Carlo. I didn't know how but while I was waiting for him I wasn't scared at all, maybe he didn't love me or he just knew I couldn't give her everything he could but I was sure he knew I love her, and that I would give my best to make sure she has everything she needs or that  I would die trying. After just five or six minutes he approached me dressed like always shoes matching the color of the tie in white suit that looked much brighter that my, or soon to be her ring. 

I want to marry her! I said before he could tell me to sit, or to do anything at all. He didn't look at me he did't tell anything and while I was waiting I was slowly dying. He came to his desk pouring two crystal glasses of whiskey and giving me one. Then he look me in the eyes and just said. "Welcome to family son." Did I hear it right? Did he just say what I think he did? Am I dreaming? Is it important anymore..NO because I'm gonna merry her, I'm gonna marry love of my life. 

She came in the office in that same red dress she was wearing the first time I saw her only this time she didn't have her hair in a ponytail, this time it laid on her shoulders. She looked happy young, fresh, she looked like mother of my children. She was confused when she saw her uncle and I hugging, because we never did that.

With no introduction, and no heartbreaking story to begin with I knelt on my knee and said the words. "Will you marry me?" I don't know how long I waited for the answer, was it ten or twenty seconds but to me it was like hours I looked at her, I looked in her eyes looking for something, anything that will make me sure she's accepting my offer. After that ten seconds eternity has passed and my love said "Yes!"