Too Much-- Not Enough

Not Enough

Matthew woke with a start, breath coming in short gasps and pants. The darkness of his room all too similar to the darkness in his nightmare. Slowly he crept to the light switch across the room, flinching at every creak of the floorboards under his feet. Flipping the switch, he quickly checked the room. He knew nothing would be there, but there was no harm in checking. Glancing at his nightstand, he noticed 6:53 AM flashing at him in red. He woke up 7 minutes before his alarm was set to go off, so he decided to just begin getting ready for school.

He made his way to the kitchen, finding that his brother was already awake and about to pour a bowl of cereal. "Hey Al, I can just make some pancakes if you want," he mumbled, just loud enough for Alfred to hear. "Aw thanks, Matt! That'd be awesome!" Alfred put away the cereal and got the pancake mix for Matthew. Picking up the box, Alfred frowned. "Hey Matt, it looks like there's not enough."

Matthew froze for a fraction of a second, not long enough for Alfred to notice. "Not enough?" Matthew repeated, closing his eyes. "Yeah, look there isn't even a full cup!" Alfred replied, turning to look at his brother. Matthew opened his eyes, "Well, isn't that a shame. Looks like someone'll have to run by the store later." Alfred frowned and turned around, throwing the box into the trash.

The rest of the morning was uneventful. No one accidentally said something from Matthew's nightmare. No one even spoke to him until he and Alfred left for school. He was fine with it, he didn't want the attention anyway.

Once he was at school, he was alone again. Alfred had gone off to join his ever-expanding friend group, and left Matthew to "do his own thing." Matthew did what he did every day. He sat in the library, book open and earbuds in. To any bystander, he appeared to be reading or maybe even studying, but he was really just mentally going over the details of last night's nightmare. It was the usual, faceless figures pointing at him, some whispering to others, and, as always, he could hear their soft murmurs. "Not enough, never enough. Look at him. He'll never be enough."

The ringing of the bell snapped Matthew out of his thoughts. He quickly collected his books and shot out of the library. He managed to slip into the science lab before the tardy bell rang. His gaze flicked about the classroom, trying to find an open seat without drawing any attention to himself.

Because he had barely made it to class on time, he quickly found that there were only two open seats. The first seat was in the back of the room next to some loudmouth with white hair. The second was in the front of the room next to a quiet girl with short blonde hair. He quickly made his way over to the second seat.

The teacher rose from his desk as the bell rang, silencing the class with a quick gesture. He made his way to the front of the room, and turned to face the class. He began with his regular announcements, things like due dates and scheduled class events.

"Oh, and we'll be doing an experiment tomorrow. I've already chosen your partners," he said, walking back to his desk to turn on the projector.

As the projector slowly came on, Matthew began to search for his name. When he found his name, he also found that he didn't know who exactly his partner was. Matthew wasn't ever really that social, so it didn't surprise him all that much. Still, he couldn't prevent the sickening twist in his stomach at the thought of working with someone he didn't know.

He closed his eyes and hoped that his new lab partner would be someone decent. That hope was crushed when he heard a loud voice at the back of the room ask, "Does anyone know who Matthew Williams is?"

Slowly he turned his head around, trying not to let his distaste show as he discovered the source of the voice.