chapter four.
around seven forty-five monday morning, i walked out of my dorm. michael and i both had a class on european history first, so i stopped outside of his room and knocked on the door. a soft, tired voice could be heard through door saying "one minute." it had to be him. to be honest, it was kinda hot. about five minutes later, i was still standing there. once more, i knocked on the door. no answer. i twisted the knob and opened the door. michael stood there in front of his dresser, searching for a shirt in one of the top drawers. his head turned towards me and he grinned. "hey," he said. that tired voice was definitely his.
"hey. you almost ready?" i asked, crossing my arms and smirking behind his back. he was turned away from me. michael's hands reached down into the second drawer and pulled out the familiar, gray rolling stones shirt i had worn a few days before. he pulled it over his bleach-blonde bedhead that was tousled in every direction, just like the day i first saw him. his head nodded slowly a few moments later in response to my question.
"what time to we have to be at our class?" questioned michael curiously. i checked my phones time. it was seven fifty-two.
"eight minutes. hurry up," i answered and adjusted my backpack on my shoulder. he looked at me, shocked.
"what? we have to go. that class is all the way across campus!" he said and grabbed his black backpack from a swivel chair at his desk. i stepped out and he shut the door behind us. he ran down the hall and i followed. we raced down the flight of steps and through campus in five minutes. i had lost my breath along the way and slowed down when we were almost there. maybe i do need to start running. michael looked back at me and laughed. "c'mon, class is still far away. let's go," he said and took my hand, leading me past buildings and other students going to classes. i clasped my hand with his and followed him. soon we made it to the brick building that had a few classrooms in it. we went to the third one and our hands separated.
the class was half empty and the professor wasn't there yet. michael led me to the back of the room and sat down at a desk. i took the empty one next to him and put my head down on my arms, looking up at him. his eyes were set on me. "tired?" he asked. i nodded in response. it was about eight and the professor still wasn't there.
minutes later, the door opened and a short, old man walked through it. he didn't have much hair to top his head, but he was old. i think that's a good enough explanation. the man carried a brown leather briefcase. he finally made it to the desk with the assistance of his cane.
"hello, class. i am dr. shields. i will be teaching this class for the whole year," the professor said in a sharp and strict tone.
"i guess he will be teaching the course the whole year, i mean, if he lasts that long," I heard Michael snicker from beside me. He had been thinking the same thing as me.
week after week went by, and it was tough. tons of things happened. one of them was that i no longer had a roommate. she had gotten caught hooking up with different boys too many times and was thrown out. with all of the guys she slept with, they apparently had a continuous drug ring throughout campus. turns out, that guy that was in the bed? jack. yes, my ex boyfriend jack.
the boys were still my only friends on campus, besides this one extremely quiet girl named jade that was in one class. i guess i could consider her a friend. we never even really hung out. michael had invited me to hang out at his place again tonight.
it was mid-october and the leaves outside my dorm window were beginning to change color. i sat on my white comforter and stared out the small window next to my bed. people were walking along the dorm buildings outer sidewalk and sitting in the grass studying with friends. my phone rang quietly. it was a slow song that seemed appropriate for the season. the call was coming from alex. i pressed answer and held the phone to my ear. "hello, brother," i chimed softly. it had always bothered him when i addressed him like that. no words were spoken by alex. all i could hear were soft, silent sobs. "alex? what's wrong? are you okay?" i asked in a sudden panic.
"ang..." he said shakily. i stood up and paced around the room as i began to speak to him.
"alex, tell me what's wrong. you're worrying me."
"dad," alex spoke. my eyes widened.
"alex, talk to me. what happened to dad?" i asked. i was nearly in tears.
silence.
"he had a heart attack. he's gone, angela."
my dad really was gone. he had a heart attack at work in the middle of the day and paramedics couldn't save him. after alex had broken the news, i broke down. i had thrown my phone on the hardwood floor and it shattered. tears immediately stung my eyes and i collapsed onto the ground. i curled up into a ball on the floor and cried. that's all i did for hours.
my wails had turned into silent cries and i was still curled up on the floor. it had been about four hours since alex told me and i hadn't moved since. sometime in my tantrum i destroyed my room. i threw stuff everywhere in despair and anger. soon, a soft knock came from my door. it echoed, and i didn't respond. a second knock came. "angela, open up. you were supposed to show up two hours ago," he said. he didn't sound mad at all, more on the worried side. he was pretty understanding even if he didn't know what was going on. michael rattled the doorknob a little but couldn't get it open because it was locked. a few moderately loud sobs escaped my mouth and he knocked again. he seemed extremely concerned at this point. "angela please open up," he begged. i would, but i couldn't push myself to stand. or even move. moments later the door burst open and shut again. i looked up and there stood michael with a bent paper clip in his hand. he must've picked the lock, that clever little shit.
his eyes widened when he saw me. my eyes were red and puffy, my makeup was everywhere, my hair was messy, and i was curled up sideways on the ground. michael ran over and kneeled down beside me. "ang..." he whispered and brushed my hair behind my ears. he helped me sit up against my bed. i just stared at the floor. michael tilted my head up again. "hey, it's okay."
"my dad died," i said in a bare whisper. more tears made their way down my cheeks and michael wiped them away. his face was whiter than i had ever seen it. he said no words, he only hugged me tightly. he was warm and strong and comforting. maybe all michael clifford hugs were like that. he sat down on the ground beside me and his arms remained around me. i rested my head on his shoulder and his plain white t-shirt became stained with my tears and makeup.
"angela...i'm so sorry," michael whispered. i pressed my face into his chest and he held me. "i am so sorry," he repeated. i looked up at him and he looked as if he was about to cry.
"why are you apologizing? you didn't fucking do it," i whispered back.
"i know it, but i feel sorry. you don't deserve this."
my eyes returned back to michael. "don't you dare start crying too," i said, my lip quivering. he nodded his head and sniffled, hugging me a bit more.
in the morning, i woke up beside him. the sun shined brightly in my eyes. my face was still pressed to michael's chest and i was curled up in his lap. it finally hit me again what had happened and i was left speechless. michael's arms were wrapped tightly around me and his long, sweatpants-clad legs extended across my hardwood floor. he had pulled my comforter down onto the ground, covering me and half of him. i yawned and shook him awake carefully. his bright green eyes squinted open and he yawned as well. "good morning, michael," i said and sat up. he rubbed his eyes.
"good morning," he said and smiled down at me. i shook the comforter off of us and checked my phone. it was 10:00 saturday morning. i pulled myself to my feet, shaking a little, and paced around the room. i would have to schedule to fly back home today, so i could attend my fathers funeral. i think michael knew as well because he followed me to his feet and stood beside me in front of the mirror. "are you okay?" he asked and hugged me. i nodded my head and sighed.
"i think i'll be okay..." i replied and hugged him back. "why did you stay with me all night?" i whispered.
"i wouldn't leave you."
sorry for the wait!
(edited june 2015, published 2013)
