Falling Down

Jake

Jake is me. Well, it was. Now I'm just a person walking around pretending to have fun, when really, I just don't want to do this any more. Right now my miserable life only revolves around bad grades, dad's girlfriend and other boring things. Everyday I slop off to school and slop into my classroom and slop into my chair. The day goes by quickly but not a time flies when you're having fun quickly but a shit happens I'm used to it quickly. School is horrible. My best friend Tyler has stopped talking to me and is now bullying me. Saying things like "Go ahead and kill yourself already! We won't miss you." It makes me want to do it. It's convenient. I live in New York.

I have this tutor, she's great she is. Well, kind of a tutor. She's from my grade. She's called Rosa. She's kind. She helps me with depression. Everyday she makes me write 20 things I love about life. At first it was easy but now it's getting harder and harder and today I could only write five. I know she's trying to help and it did help for a while but I can't keep this going much longer. The dreams just make it worse. The dreams of me sitting up there and with one swift movement I leap. I fall for a long time. I look to my side. There's mum, holding my hand, giving me a reassuring look. When I wake up I'm crying but every time I wake up I feel a little bit... How do I put this... Disappointed. Like I wanted it to be real. Like I wanted to jump. I would if I had the courage.