Just Hit 'Send' By Grasshopper

Just Hit 'Send' - The High School Years by Grasshopper Ch. 12

Claire had to laugh as she watched the two eating machines devour the huge piles of French toast in the middle of the kitchen table. Whatever is was these two had found, she was just happy that Jordan seemed at peace.

Jordan's dad strode in, slung himself in the empty chair and added his appetite to the locusts laughing and giggling over the last three slices. "You boys ready to go?" he asked, scanning the headlines.

Jordan took a big gulp of milk and answered, "Sure." He turned to Danny. "You ever been to a feed store, Dan?"

"Nah," Danny replied, "I'm a city boy, remember?"

Claire watched the way Danny's eyes caught Jordan's and held them and she saw the way Jordan's eyes crinkled up in the corners as he grinned back. A slight uneasiness flickered through her mind but she pushed it away and watched as the three "men" cleared their plates and went out the door, trailing behind "See ya" and "Bye, Hon". Watching from the window above the sink, she saw Jordan put his hand under Danny's arm to steady him on the rocky path; watched as he effortlessly lifted Danny into the high truck seat and stow the braces in the back, then run back to the porch for the chair and dump it over the tailgate. She watched the truck till it turned the loop in the drive and then carried her cup of coffee over to the table and sat quietly.

When they got back, the boys fed up the animals, took one more ride on Tinker and Jolene and collapsed on the hay in the barn in a sweaty pile.

"I like your mom and dad," Danny said, hay sticking out of his hair. "They're good people, Jordy." He watched Jordan's eyes darken.

"Yeah, I know," Jordan answered. "They love me. I know that. It isn't that, Danny."

"What is it then?" Danny asked softly. "Why do you feel alone?"

Jordan sighed. "It's hard to tell you, Dan. I go back and forth between I'm a worthless pile of crap to maybe I'm okay." He reached over and pulled the little stick of hay from Danny's curly hair. "I know it isn't their fault. Adam..." his voice broke, "Adam was this perfect child. I've worried about it so long that I can't change it now. I know, in my heart, that I didn't hurt him but it doesn't change the fact that he's dead and I'm still here." His voice took on a strident tone and Danny saw the tears forming on his eyelashes, those beautiful long lashes.

"Jordy.......Sweetboy.........," he murmured, as much for himself as for Jordan.

Reaching out, he cupped Jordan's face with his hand and felt him turn his wet cheek into the palm. "Oh Jordy," he breathed, and leaned in to brush his lips across Jordy's tears and softly across his trembling mouth. Unable to stop, Jordan gathered Danny up and they rocked back and forth as Danny soothed him with whispers and tiny kisses.

Claire walked toward the barn, the message from Danny's mom on her lips. Hearing the sound of whispers, she quietly rounded the corner of the barn door, expecting to find her two favorite boys planning a naughty adventure. What she didn't expect to see was her son, her baby, kissing another boy, not out of silliness, not out of playfulness, but what could only be love, passion, tenderness. Tears blinded her as her mind raced in every direction. She had never seen anything so beautiful. So beautiful.......or so wrong! She knew now what it was she was feeling every time her son and that boy were in the same room. Her son, her life, her joy.........her son was................She turned quickly, running across the yard for fear they would know she had seen, stumbled on the top porch step and sat down heavily in the porch swing. Her mind was screaming as she sat silently, her fingers laced tightly. Her thoughts all ran together; everything she'd ever seen on TV, read in the newspaper...the drugs, the life, HIV, and then she realized the most important thing.....David,,,,,,,,,,,Oh God, David.