Mad Hatter |George Daniel|

25

While sitting at this bar with three very annoying preppy girls, I actually started to miss Amber. Their rather high pitched giggles and several spills of their drinks gives me a migraine. I'm bent over my glass of wine, staring at the pool of red liquid that was doing very little to my blood stream. I watch Adam and his girlfriend happily drink in a booth a few feet away from me. Matty and Ross have vanished somewhere unknown and I'm stuck with dumb drunks. 

They don't engage me in a single conversation for the most part and I question how to hell I even ended up sitting with these three. When I get up to walk away they clearly don't care. I needed a smoke. Looking for somewhere to go I spot the exit and quickly make my way to it. Right as I was about to open the door, someone grabbed my freehand, yanked me back, spinning me around to be pressed to their chest. "You're not leaving are you?" He frowns down at me, pushing his bottom lip out.

"I wanted a smoke." I say over the music, my fingers still entwined around his. His other hand presses against the small of my back. Holding me closer than he could've last night he gently smiles.

"I'll get you a drink and join you." His hands leave my body so I could now push open the door. While he wanders to the bar I light the cancer stick while it was resting between my lips. Coughing I exhale and rest my head on the cold brick wall outside and watch cars pass by slowly. It doesn't take long for Matty to come back with drinks for the two of us. He lowers down on a gin and gives me an unknown fruity drink much like a margarita. He begins smoking but I knew it wasn't tobacco by the smell. There's a comfy silence between us, the busy city giving us background to listen to. "Luana." He speaks softly. "How are you?"

"What?" I face him, stubbing my fag on the wall and tossing it to the gutter. 

"How are you?" He repeats, pulling the spliff from his mouth. His expression was explainable. He looked high, bland but happy. He offers me the spliff but I decline.

"I'm...I don't know how I am." I sip my drink, gripping the cold glass and watching a few ants on the ground march past my feet. There wasn't a word for how I felt right now. I was agitated with those girls, slightly cold, on the verge of stupid drunk, scared and something else I couldn't put my finger on. There was no way I could gather all that into one explanation. 

"You look stressed." His hand trails to my cheek, pulling my face to look at his red stoned brown eyes. "You've got that look like your carrying the world on your shoulders." His eyes squint to focus on my features. I watch at line form on his forehead and his nose crinkles while he studies me.

I don't say anything I just nip at a hang nail on my thumb, trying to not look directly into his eyes. He leans to kiss my temple then yanks me into a hug, squeezing me tightly as if I were to melt in his arms. "It get's better."

"I can't wait all these years for him to come back Matthew. I can't move on and I don't think I'll be able to withstand seeing him behind bulletproof glass. He probably doesn't even have visiting rights yet. What if he gets hurt in there? Hell what if-"

Matty quiets me but mushing his lips on mine. Tenderly pulling my hips to his and cupping one side of my face. His other hand at the small of my back. My hands are in his hair, both of us stumble back into the wall. My elbow scraping the brick and I spot of blood oozing onto my skin. It doesn't stop me from feeling aroused in the moment. Small beads of sweat form on my neck as our lips clash and our tongues mix like the alcohol mixing in our blood stream. It felt so wrong once again, but Matty was the only other boy who was walling to come near me for the sake of my sanity. I could tell the day I gave him my body that he wanted more than just that. Matty craved me as a person and a spirit and I started to shamelessly feel that same way; even though to man I though I really loved was in prison.

When he pushed himself closer to me I convinced myself the whole time my eyes were closed hat it was Gee. "Let's just leave." He stops to growl in my ear, his breath giving me goosebumps while he grabbed my hands harshly. I nod to him, my whole body feeling static. We travel back inside, his hand never leaving mine as we down the last of our drinks. The booze now really over powering as we rushed out to the park lot, searching for Matty's van in the back corner. As if we were children we both run to it, the grip between us never loosening. 

We both hurry to unlock it, throwing the backdoor open, both of us eagerly pulling each other in. Matty's back falls to the floor while I jump in, slamming the door behind me. Both of us were too eager to wait until we got home, it was clear when Matty began undoing the buttons on his blouse. I sit a top him, hungrily biting my lips while he sits up to yank at the hem of my shirt. Everything moved so fast my vision blurred and my lips stuck to his collar bone. His thin hands pluck at my short buttons as he moans from the contact of my mouth. All I wanted was Matty's body against mine, right here, right now, in this moment. 

Almost violently I am pushed back off him so he could pull my shorts away from me. My head rests on the van door, my shoes slipping off at the same time. We both pant in a hurry, now my turn to remove Matty's clothes. Once he's almost bare I push him back down, our lips mixing once again. There is warmth in his hands as he unclasps my bra, it falls down my arms and is tossed some where in the dimly lit car. He attacks my chest with his mouth, his hands gripping my rear rather roughly, nail marks being left behind. "Matty stop making me wait." I pout making him back away from me to examine the purple trail left down my chest already starting to feel weird. He nods letting himself remove the last of his clothing. I go to remove my own panties but his warm hands stop me.

"I've waited all night to take these off you myself." He growls, not taking them off but actually ripping the fabric, his knuckles going white as he does so.