Gold In August

2.

AUGUST

I sighed as I pulled up to the church I'd seen so many times before, but I'd never dreaded walking into the massive stone building more than I am now. Ruth's funeral starts in fifteen minutes and I'm seriously lacking the motivation to leave my car but i have to. Just one more day. I thought to myself, just one more day of being in this sad town. Just one more day before I can leave and never look back. I sighed once again as I left my car and headed for the huge church doors with her on my mind. Not that she ever wasn't though.

"Hey." Ruth's once-father greeted me with a sad smile. I haven't talked to him since he called me asking if I wanted to write and say a speech today. I declined though, words can't even come close to describe how I'm feeling.

"Hi-uh" I tried to speak but the words wouldn't come out as tears threatened to flood my eyes. Embarrassed I looked away but James simply wrapped an arm around my suit-clad shoulders and looked at me with glistening eyes. "You're not alone."

I'm not alone? I've never known how it felt to be truly alone until now. To feel completely helpless and utterly by myself when I'm around the people I once relied on most and who claim to love me. For a split second I felt something- I felt that maybe I wasn't alone and maybe I could recover. But that thought faded as soon as it came when I saw her. My eyes wandered to the white framed picture of my once beautiful, shining girlfriend, standing there in her favorite red dress with a smile that could light up this dead town.

"Come on, it'll be fun," Ruth laughed as she stepped off my porch and into the pouring rain.

I just laughed and crossed my arms, holding my ground under the safety of the porch roof.

"Why not?" She pouted dramatically. "I'll ruin my suit." I said even though I could've cared less. "So? I'm ruining my dress and my hair, why can't you?" I stayed quiet because really I didn't mind the rain at all, I really just couldn't take my eyes off her. The rain fell steadily on to her once straightened hair, making it spiral in all directions and the streetlights shined on her damp face giving it a golden glow. I smiled at the sight and all I could think about was how I'd never seen anyone beautiful as her.

"Excuse me son." An older man said to me. Oh shit I'm standing in the doorway? "My bad sir." I said, feeling embarrassed once again as the man smiled softly and made his way down the aisle. I need to get out of here. Is the only thought on my mind. I can't be here anymore, surrounded with memories it's just too dangerous. I sat down next to Ruth's family since my own mother was away in Mexico until tomorrow. When she heard the news she insisted she came back as soon as she could but I assured she didn't have to because I really just needed to be alone and I think she understood that. It's probably the only thing that kept her from coming back home to be with me.

For the rest of the long, tiring mass the same thought was on my mind the entire time, I need to get out of here. As soon as the mass ended I said a few rushed goodbye's to Ruth's family and a few close friends as I headed for the door of the church I hopefully wouldn't see again for a very long time. I rushed to my car and opened the door as tears spilled from my eyes. "Damn it!" I yelled, why did it have to be her? Who could live with the injustice of taking away the brightest light in mine and so many other's lives. Everything I thought I knew was tarnished because they'd always said that those who do good would be rewarded but this sure as hell wasn't a reward. She was the best person I knew and everyday I woke up feeling lucky just because I had the pleasure of knowing such a star. Now it's gone. Now she's gone.

I don't know how long I sat there thinking, crying, and thinking some more before I finally drove off with no destination in mind. I need to clear my mind, I thought. I can't stay like this forever it's not what she wanted. But how could I not? I planned my entire life to have her in it and now that she's gone what do I have left? Not being able to answer the question lingering on my mind I focused on the scenery before me. It was already sunset and I couldn't help but notice how beautiful the sky looked, a golden canvas with streaks of pink, purple, blue and colors that didn't belong to one name. Looking at the changing sky calmed me down and I almost enjoyed the ride to nowhere. But the memories still haunted the deepest parts of my mind and I knew I wouldn't truly be happy for a while.

Before I knew it, it was already nine and I knew I should head home soon. I called Vic and Rickey to see if they could sleep over at my place tonight because for the first time in what seemed like forever but in reality was only a few days I actually craved to be with other people.

"Hey man what's up?" Vic answered the phone. He sounded tired and he's one of the most energetic and positive people I know. Damn. I thought to myself before responding.

"Can you and Rickey sleepover mine tonight?"

"Yeah lemme wake up Rick, he's baked." He said with a hollow chuckle.

"Not surprising," I said, "Ight just come to my place whenever, I'm heading home right now."

"Where'd you go after the funeral?"

"Just driving." I said not really knowing what else I could say.

"Oh yeah ight we'll be there in a bit I'll see you then."

With that the call ended and I was left by myself again.

It took a little longer than I expected to get back so when I did Vic's jeep was already parked in the driveway. I quickly left my car and headed for the door. For some reason I was really eager to spend time with them. I don't know if I miss them or if I just miss how it was before.

"Heyyy it's Auggie." Rickey slurred and I laughed a little bit at the nickname he always gave me when he was drunk. "Hey Rickle," I said, now it's my turn to use drunk nicknames. He gave me a crooked smile and took another drink.

"Aye he's home!" Vic cheered as he walked into the room with DVD's in his hand "Purge night," he stated, "time to bring it back to old times." I smiled as we plopped down on the huge sofa and I saw soda, candy, and popcorn had already been set up which made me feel warm inside for the first time in a little while. We were always there for each other but right now I couldn't help but smile at how grateful I felt to have them in my life, when I was with them whatever was going on would just be put on hold and we would chill like we had been for years, like nothing had changed.

Several hours later both Vic and Rickey were passed out with the funniest expressions on their faces, Vic with drool coming out of his mouth and Rickey somehow with one eyebrow arched and a weird looking smirk on his face. My eyelids were drooping and my vision was getting blurrier. I drifted off to sleep with one thought on my mind, One more day.

Hayy :) This chapter took way too long to write and I'm sorry if it's a little boring. The next chapter will be more eventful and Janae's POV will come into play very soon. Please vote, comment, and tell ur pals if you enjoyed :) I'd really appreciate it and I can't explain how happy your guy's comments make me feel, so thank you so much. Lastly, an update should be up by early next week.

Have a lit day,

-Tabby