If you are Juliet then I'll be Romeo

Chapter 2: Another post

Why haven't I done something? they are right, I'm a weak slut, I should have done something or tell them something but as always I just freezed. I don't know what have I done to deserve all this. Every single day I have to deal with those girls and I'm done. The next time I'll tell Rachele she can keep her opinions for herself... But I just can't... I can't even talk with peolpe, how am I suppose to brave her? She is right and she knows it, that's what I hate. Sometimes I wonder why I was born? I don't have any friends, my dad is never for me when I need it, the only person who is concerned about me is my mom and she is also suffering because of me. Maybe Rachele is right when she says I should kill myself... I'm done.

'Bullies:

where is the hoy in making someone feel inferior? we are all different and nobody is perfect. Why do we listen to them? they aren't better than us. Every single person in this world is especial and if someone can recognise it, that's their problem. Why do we allow bullies to bring us down? at the end of the day, we all breath the same air and we'll share the same fate. 

Are you sick of dealing with confrictive people? Don't listen to them, don't let their words bring you down... At least you don't need to make others feel bad with themselves'

I sigh and press the bottom to Publish that new post. I know I know I know... you are wondering why do you write it when you are a loser and you can't confront a bully? I don't even have an answer to that question... I guess it is because I don't want other people to feel as lonely as me. I don't have the courage to show myself in front of others but on internet it's different. I don't feel alone there.

Surprisingly many users like my blog and they also comment positively on it, of course there are always haters but It would be boring if they weren't here too. Rachele comments negatively on my posts, I don't have to look her in the eye when she does that though so I guess this is the best I can do in order to give my opinion without being judge.

The school bell rang, which meant we had to go to our classes, I have math classes now I may be a loser and nerdy but I totally hate math with my life. Who would like it anyway? well there are people who like it but I'm not one of them, in spite of this I work hard to have good marks, till now I'm doing it ok.

I wasn't paying attention, I prefer drawing in my notebook instead unless my teacher notice it and she never does so I guess that's ok. 

The sound of the door opening was more than enough for me to realize that someone was late. Nothing I should care about but a few seconds after my drawing was finished I look ahead... Just to find that there was a new guy in our class. My heart stopped for a moment, I wasn't really listening what he was speaking but I couldn't stop looking at his deep blue eyes, his hair had a reddish brown color and it was curly, it didn't look bad. I blushed when he smiled because he was smiling at me, At me!... no that's impossible, he didn't, the most probable is that he had smiled at the class. Why would he smile at me? he doesn't know me yet, he'll probably won't talk to me and I won't either as I can't interact with a simple person without freezing.

The school bell rang again and I went as fast as I could. So I would be alone, I need to be... I'm blushed and I don't want them to see me on this way. 

I was going to my especial place where I could be away from everyone who could hurt me again. A Rachele's friend made me fall, they all were looking at me, I felt horrified by this, I hate when people stare at me like that. I felt hurt and humiliated... Just another reason to stay away from the school canteen and from everyone in this school.

The tears were running down of my cheeks but I didn't bother to dry them, that was enough I'm not strong or I am very strong so I got sick of this. None deserves to be treated like this, I can't hold back the tears any longer and this place is perfect to cry. It is at the school backyard, there is a tree where I climb and stay there when I'm feeling down or just when I don't want to be close to them.

- Hey! Are you ok?_ someone said. I fell down due to the fright whoever it was gave me_ I'm sorry! are you ok?_ it was Dustin. As always I couldn't talk, I was scared like everytime when I'm close to someone. He held out his hand in order me to stood up, I was freezed. Well done Larissa!_ It's ok let me help you_ he smiled at me, it's strange I found my self holding his hand and smiling_ are you ok?_ I nodded_ I'm glad to know that, I'm so sorry I didn't want to scare you_ I let go off his hand clearly blushed and look down_ what's your name? oh sorry maybe I'm overwhelming you with questions and you want to be quiet, I'll leave you alone if you want.

- y-you can stay i-if you wa-want_ I said shakily.

- great! for a moment I thought you couldn't speak_ she laughed.

- I-I can... I just... don't speak mu-much_ I babbled.

- It's find, this place is so calm I bet you enjoy cominghere just to think and be quiet_ he said smiling, it's strange, I mean with other people I couldn't be here sharing it but.. this time is different, he is different.

- I do_ I spoke for the first time without babbling or shaking.

- that's awesome, so tell me why were you crying?_ he asked.

- Oh... well... that must be... my allergies_ I lied.

- Ok I just realized you don't know how to lie, come on, tell me I'll see if I can help you_ he told me but looked like he was demanding it. 

What do I tell him? oh well just because I'm a loser who doesn't have friends, everyone makes fun of me and even my dad prefers to be in his work rather than with me, nothing out of normal. He won't talk to me again.

- why do you want to know? you are new and you don't know me_ I answered.

- you are right but I want to know anyway_ he said.

- but why? It's none of your bussiness_ I said coldly.

- fine.. you don't have to tell me If you don't want_ he spoke on the same way I did. It felt bad, I'm used to be badly treated but this really felt bad. I sighed and looked down.

- you wouldn't understand_ I finally spoke back.

- try me_ he look at me in the eye. I blushed and looked down.

- I was crying because I'm sick of leading with them, every single day. From my point of view I never did something to deserve this... I just don't understand why do they do that to me_ a tear fell. He surprised me with a hug... I'm not used to hug people so I tensed for a few seconds and then I hugged him back. I started to cry again I was feeling such a shame, I'm pathetic. The worst part is that I couldn't stop.

- It's ok.. I understand how you feel... I really do_ he whispered in my ear_ do you know what I do when I'm feeling down? I read Reallity Boom's blog_ I can't believe it he reads my blog. I wanted to ask him but I couldn't speak due to I was crying_ she makes me feel acompany when I need it, her blog it's the best... I totally recommend it to you.

- I-I kno-know h-her_ my voice sounded raspy because of the weeping.

- Do you?_ I nodded_ she is so cool, Isn't she?_ am I? 

- d-do you thi-think so?_ I asked.

- sure, don't you?_ he replied looking really surprised by my question.

- I.. I guess_ I answered.

- yup, she is amazing_ we stayed there till the bell rang again so we went back to classes.