Blue Plaid

Life Changing

In which Stella contemplates her future.

//

Lowering my duffel bag to the subway floor, I adjusted Cooper against my front as I took a seat, clutching him close to my chest with one arm as Dani slid into the plastic chair beside me.

"Hey, thanks for coming with me," she said, scooting her butt as far back as possible.

"Oh, no worries, I'm excited," I assured her. I was always looking for fun ways to stay fit, so when Dani asked if I wanted to come to her ballet class, I had happily agreed. My only concern was Cooper, who I didn't want to get a babysitter for just so that I could go work out, but she had told me that the place we were going had a daycare center, so everything seemed to be falling into place. "How did you hear about this again?"

"One of the women in my corporate law class actually teaches ballet at this studio," she replied, reaching out to tickle Cooper's stomach and sending him into a fit of giggles.

"Oh, cool," I nodded, pressing a kiss to the top of my son's head. "How's that going, by the way? Your classes?"

I knew Dani was in law school, but I wasn't sure how far along. To be honest, I didn't know much about her because I was a shitty friend, and I intended to change that.

"Pretty good, actually!" she smiled brightly, not seeming at all surprised that I asked her a question about her personal life, "I did really well last semester, so one of my professors is recommending me for an internship at a major law firm in the fall."

"Dani, that's amazing, congratulations!" I exclaimed, "And after that, you take the Bar?"

"Yep," she nodded, "Hopefully I pass it the first time."

"I'm sure you will," I replied automatically. I'd heard the exam was difficult, but if anyone could pass the first time, it was Dani.

Laughing lightly, she shot me a grateful smile. "Thanks for the vote of confidence."

"Of course," I replied, softening my smile. "Honestly, I admire you so much because I spend a lot of nights wishing I finished school."

That wasn't something I often admitted to people, maybe because I didn't want people in profession to think I didn't take my job seriously. I had left school to pursue modelling and thus far, it was going pretty well for me and I was afraid of upsetting the delicate balance in the life I'd created for myself.

"You didn't finish school?" Dani asked, wide eyed before wincing apologetically. "Sorry, I didn't mean for that to sound so..."

"It's okay," I assured her, knowing that she hadn't meant to sound judgmental. "No, I guess I just got sidetracked. I got my first modelling contract when I was sixteen and although my parents didn't think me dropping out was a good idea, they wanted to support my dreams and modelling was all I wanted, so I left high school before I graduated and then my career kinda took off, so college never happened either."

"I mean, that's understandable. You were working." I appreciated that she was being supportive, but it really wasn't that simple. The truth was that I was terrified of going back to school. It had been so long since I'd been in student mode that the chances I would fail were pretty high and I wasn't sure I could handle that kind of disappointment.

Still, the fact that I'd never gotten my degree was something that weighed heavily in the back of my mind. "Yeah, but sometimes I think I should have at the very least finished high school. I mean, I can't be a model forever."

There would come a point where people no longer wanted to hire me and I needed to be prepared for that day, to have some sort of backup plan.

"You could always get your GED," Dani suggested with a shrug, "There's tons of places that teach night classes."