1. Been like this

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James's POV

It was a couple months ago Dad got ill. I don't think I'll ever forget what the doctor said:
"Deborah, kids, I don't want to, and I hate saying this to so many families, but your dad has Prostate cancer. And there is no known cure for it. I'm sorry."
I remember looking at Will, my older brother's face. I then looked at my four other younger siblings. I looked back at Will and then Mom. She had tears flooding her eyes. She covered her mouth with her hand. I looked at Will. We both made eye contact. We have both been so close with Dad since we were little. He was what made us to so close too. I looked back at my other siblings and I saw a tear roll down Piper's face. Brittany looked emotionless with pure shock. She's 13. Harper kinda just looked confused. Confused but sad. I get it. She was five. She didn't, and probably still, doesn't know what to think. George had his head in his hands, his eyes were shut.
But myself, I didn't have enough time to think. It had been two seconds since the doctor finished speaking and the chair I was sitting on was already on the other side of the room an I was out of the room, just trying to get out of something I couldn't escape from. I ran aimlessly until I realised I was outside of the hospital. I looked around and saw a man and a smaller boy, supposedly his son watching a football match on the man's his phone. I heard a cheer from the device and the two started to do the same, hugging and laughing with joy. I swallowed hard, crashing onto the steps and hanging my head in between my knees. I felt the noise echoing around me in my little cave of...shock. It just had to sink in.

Dad's gonna die.

He now has just over two months to live.

He's staying at home until the end of next week when he'll be sent to the hospital to die. We'll be allowed to see him when he does, which terrifies me. I'm just not quite prepared for that.

Eldon and West knew after Riley and Kate found me binge drinking outside the studio as a depressant. I had to explain. They found me while she was helping Kate lock up the studio, passed out round the back:
(Riley's POV)
"Thank you so much Riley for helping while Phoebe's been off sick. She should be fine by tomorrow," Kate thanks me.
"No problem!" I say back.
Phoebe came down with Flu a few days ago so I volunteered to help out while she's gone.
"Now we just need to lock up the back gate and then we can go home," Kate says excitedly. It's already 10:30pm as we've had to sort out our regionals application. We walk down the stairs of the back of the studio while Kate locks the door. This is where all the trash and skips go. The gate is where all the garbage trucks get in and we just make sure it's locked every night. I let out a yawn as I reach into my pocket to get the keys. I then get out my phone and turn on the flashlight, shining it on the lock and handing the keys to Kate. She inserts it into the lock, a metal clanging sound ringing out as she twists it. She pulls the key out, putting it in her bag.
"Let's go home," Kate exasperates, smiling. I turn round towards the door, the flashlight still on. I move it around a bit to find the door.
But then it shines on something. Something dark, big. And then see; it's a person. I walk over slightly and move the light's view across the body, revealing more of if as I move. And then I get to the face. I gasp. This isn't just a person; it's James.
"James?!" I shout, shaking his shoulder, squeezing his grey dance jacket through my hands. I turn him over and see a beer bottle in his hand, another two just by it. I repeat his name again. This time he groans. He reeks of alcohol.
"James, it's me. It's Riley," I say. He then kind of reaches his hands out, trying to touch my waist and thigh.
"He knows it's me," I say to Kate. She's just watching. I can feel her horrified face on the back of my neck. I try to get the bottle out of his hand, but his reflexes take over and he pulls it back.
"James, please," I say to him quietly. I still have no idea why he's done this, and it's killing me inside. Then I hear a vibration in coming from my hand, making me jump a little. I flip my phone round and see the caller ID. I sigh. It's Deborah. Hesitantly, I accept the call. I open my mouth to speak but I am interrupted by her worried, motherly voice.

"Riley, do you know where the heck James is?!"
I look at boyfriend's passed out body and breath in and out.
"Well, um, he's here. Deborah, James was drinking and now he's passed out. Kind of. He knows it's me here and we only just found him. He could've been here for hours," I say. Deborah sighs through the phone.
"OK. I'll come him up. He'll just be really hungover in the morning," she says calmly. Calmly? How could she be calm when her son has just been found drunk and nearly unconscious?
"OK, but how are you not freaking out?"
"Riley, I'm not surprised this happened. We both know why. I mean, since we..."
"Wait, I'm confused," I cut her off. What does she mean?
"Y-you don't know? James hasn't told you?"
"Told me what?" I say slowly.
(Back to James's POV)
I woke up when Mom arrived. She had to tell Riley; I was way to pissed. I remember a tear trickling down her face and her sniffing. Dad has always really liked Riley. He was so nice to her. But then he's nice to everyone. He always wanted me to be happy.
But I guess he can't save me now.

Out of the whole studio, only Kate, Phoebe, Eldon, Riley, Piper and West know about my situation. The fact that your dad is dying isn't an easy thing to share, let alone be defined by.

Amanda's POV
"So when will you be back today?" I ask my mom, her hand on the door handle. She turns to face me.
"I don't know, six, maybe?" She replies, not caring. I sigh.
"OK then," I say, hiding my inner anger. I don't know why I bother; neither she or dad come home when they say they should. Mom leaves the house, not saying another word. Dad left about half an hour ago. I turn back round, into the kitchen where my three younger siblings are eating their breakfast. Or what's not on the floor. There's Alfie ;) who's eight, and with ADHD, Melissa who's six and Mikey who's five.
"Guys, just sit down and eat your breakfast," I groan. I'm 17 for God's sake. Why do I have to do this? Well, I have been since I was 14. By that I mean looking after my younger siblings AND asking myself that same, damn question.

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