Slugs: A Story

Chapter 6

"Mm-hm."

Inspector Joe thoughtfully scratched his chin. He hated scratching his chin. He just did it to look professional.

"It, *ahem*, appears to me, that, (as is QUITE elementary), the body, is, presumably, dead." he said, standing over Wilson's body.

"Yes, indeed," replied a police officer. "VERY dead."

"But!" exclaimed Inspector Joe. "We do not, as is apparent, know, *ahem*, HOW he died, yes, my dear Watson?"

"My name is Bill."

"Watson," he agreed.

Bill the police man cringed inwardly. Joe clearly thought he was some sort of Sherlock Holmes, and it was ridiculous. He made a mental note to tell the sheriff to get a better detective.

"OH!!!!" shouted Joe, interrupting Bill's train of thought.

"What is it? What is it?" asked Bill. "Did you find a crucial clue?"

"No, of course not," scoffed Joe. "I hit my foot on this confounded pole!"

Bill looked at the aforementioned pole. It was a small sign post. He stretched out his foot and lightly tapped it.

"Hey," he said, "My foot is stuck to this pole!"

And it was. Bill's foot was glued in place by what looked suspiciously like glue.

"What sort of moron would put glue on a POLE?" he exclaimed.

Inspector Joe moved over to inspect the glue. He put a hand on it.

"OW!" he yelled. "This glue appears to be burning my hand!"

The poisonous slime from the felshconsumius maxinmus crept into Joe's nerves as he desperately tried to pull his hand off of the pole. He felt a sudden chill pass through him, and fell to the ground writhing in pain, ripping off a chunk of skin in doing so. A last spasm surged through him, and his heartbeat stopped.

Bill stared at the inspector's lifeless body.

"Um."

He turned and ran into the forest.