The Other Potter. Book Four.

Roses are red, this chapter is boring, I can't rhyme.

I’m going to sum up the next few months in some insanely boring sentences.

Hermione pissed off all of the house-elves so we weren’t allowed in the kitchen. Apparently Crouch has a secret, but Winky won’t tell anyone. Hermione received some hate mail and had hands full of pus, I went and sat with her in the hospital wing, because I thought I was going to punch a Slytherin if I had to go near them.

The pair of us missed ‘the best’ care of magical creatures’ lesson ever. Ron complained about being poor, and we felt awkward because we have money. Hermione and Harry had to keep telling people they weren’t dating. Hermione has made a life goal to kill Rita Skeeter.

Moody had a spastic lesson where he threw heaps of curses that we had to deflect at us, and I was awesome and deflected them all. Apparently Ritard Skeeter isn’t using an invisibility cloak. Hermione went all spastic after Harry mentioned she could be bugged, because apparently you can’t use electronics in Hogwarts. We will never read Hogwarts a history.

The Easter holidays were shit because there was so much work I thought I was going to die. It was all fairly easy though, and I’d write some half-assed shit, and Harry and Ron would try to decipher my words into the English language for their own essays. We kept sending food up to Sirius. And Hedwig returned at the end of Easter with Percy’s letter in a package of Easter eggs from Mrs. Weasley. Hermione’s was tiny (because Mrs. Weasley read the article in Witch Weekly), so I made a point to give her mine, lying that I didn’t like toffee eggs.    

Percy’s letter read:

 As I am constantly telling the Daily Prophet, Mr. Crouch is taking a well-deserved break. He is sending in regular owls with instructions. No, I haven't actually seen him, but I think I can be trusted to know my own superior's handwriting. I have quite enough to do at the moment without trying to quash these ridiculous rumours. Please don't bother me again unless it's something important.

Happy Easter. 

Anyway, just saying, that was one of the most boring periods of my life. I decided it was so boring, that I should do something drastic, so I got a mail order delivered to Snape.

At breakfast post time, Snape looked confused as to why he got a parcel, but his face turned to fury as he opened the box, I made a point not to make eye contact, and to pretend I was still in deep conversation with Hermione. From the corner of my eye, I could see him gathering it up and storming out of the hall.

“Why is his wand in a knot?” Hermione asked sounding intrigued.

“Maybe because he didn’t expect a shampoo hamper as an Easter present.” I said in a blasé tone.

I thought Harry was going to spontaneously combust as he kept on laughing out loud, he even chucked a Willow and fell off his seat. Harry continued to clutch his stomach in hysterics before rolling underneath the Gryffindor table.

“And I thought you were the weird on in the family.” Hermione exclaimed to me.

Later that day, I had decided to give my homework a rest for one night, and I was reading my diary from my second year.

“Ha!”  I said abruptly.

“What?” Hermione asked, looking pissed as she had accidentally smudged her ink on her six foot essay.

“I just found an entry where George said he’d take me to the school dance in our second year.” I gave a half-smile. “Funny how things work out, ay?”

Hermione looked awkward and then continued to finish her potions essay.

I read the entry of that day and I laughed. George and I had danced then, randomly in the middle of Diagon Alley. We got to meet Lockhart. I got Soxy. Snape was nice to me, after we had a fight. He wanted me to call Soxy ‘soxonius’.