29.5.16
1. it is 1am and i cannot sleep. i've been thinking about her and us and everything on and off for the past three days
2. if she texted me, i'd reply. if she called, i'd answer. if she asked to see me, i would go meet her.
3. i'm really fucking stupid
4. if i were able to see a 100% guaranteed future where things would work out with us and she would actually explain what happened last year, i would consider going back
4. i think that i am lonely
5. i wish that i was going well in school
6. i think that i was a prodigy. i am now a failure.
7. the inability to keep a clean space eats at me as much as the thought that tells me i can't touch it or i'll get a disease
8. ocd is ruining my life
9. my eating disorder is ocd's best pal that has really has overstayed its welcome
10. i am so ready to die, but i also have plans first. i wish that i could fast forward two years and start to do the things i want to. then i'll be okay with dying. maybe by then i won't want to die.
