The Magical Adventures of the Wizard of Wonderland

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Once upon a time there was a princess named Floss. She never brushed her teeth. They were so yellow that they looked like gold. One day a gold digger came by and said, "Ohmigod, I love your teeth! Will you marry me?" Floss replied, "No, but, I will give you on of my ladies in waiting, if you find a dentist that will fix my ingrown nose," So the gold digger named Jo set off to find a dentist.

Soon enough, after searching for a few days Jo found a sign that said "Looking For Faces To Fix." So, Jo walked in and asked the clerk if they would fix a princesses face. The clerk jumped up and exclaimed "Of course, kind sir, just wait a moment." Jo sat down and pulled a donkey out of his pocket. "Oh, dear donkey, I hope that princess will give me a lady in waiting! " The clerk walked back in and said, "The docter willl see you now, come on back," Jo stood up, put the donkey back in his pocket, and walked in to see the docter eating a funfetti cookie.

When Jo walked in, the doctor dropped the cookie, jumped up, and yelled "Ohmicowness, where is the princess?" "She is not here, she is at the castle. I just came to see if you would take her for an appointment. She needs it badly." "Well, do you have a painting of her?" "Of course," Jo reached into his pocked and pulled out a very large painting that showed the docter the princess face. The docter stared at the painting for awile, then he exclaimed, "This nose is imposible to fix! I cannot do it!" With that, he packed up his stuff, grabbed his cookie from the floor, and walked out of the office for lunch. 

One hour later, the doctor came back and saw that Jo was still there. "How dare you interupt me at my office! I told you the princesses nose was impossible to fix! Go, and never come back!" Jo didn't understand why the doctor was suddenly so angry. "But, your sign said you were looking for faces to fix! You should not tell lies!" Then all of a sudden the docter pulled a short wand out of his jacket and Jo's eyes widened, for it was the rumored Cookie Zapper. "Zmizí a nikdy se nevrátí," the doctor shouted, and Jo found himself in a forest of noses. "Hello?" Jo started to follow the way the noses faced. Soon enough he came across a tall, looming, elephant-looking castle made of lightbulbs. The castle looked like a nice place to sleep, and he must have been quite bright to find it. He found the door, but there was a knocker and a bell. Poor Jo didn't know what to do! After a while of thinking he decided to use the knocker. As soon as he reached for the knocker, a little booger jumped out and yelled "What do you think you are doing, you would disturb the Master during his nap!"

"That would not be good, not at all" muttered the booger then he disapeared, but not before yelling to follow the trail of nose hairs and ear wax. "So now there is ear junk here as well as nose junk? This is abstatootly crazy! Despite its craziness, Jo followed the ear and nose junk. He walked around the corner and found a small door. Jo knocked on the door and it was opened moments later by a large red booger. " Come in, come in" The big red booger ushered. Jo walked in to see that there were many different colored boggers all cramed in the small sleeping quarters some wearing clothes, and some wearing hats. Jo leaned over and asked, "Where can I find a bigger bed or meet Master?" Gaspes could be heard all around the room, for no visitor had ever had the courage to ask for a bed. Most left as soon as they saw the boogers. One small booger stepped forward and said "I wil take you to the Master, as soon as his nap is over," "Thank you," said Jo. "Meanwhile, make yourself useful and make some of the high up beds" said one of the boogers.

Hours later, after most of the high beds had been made, the little booger stepped forward and said "His nap is over."

The booger led Jo out the door and back down the trail. He led him to the door of the castle, before saying, "This is where I must leave you. The Master is through the door, down the hall, through the first door on the right. Then go through the tunnel under the painting, through the dirty dungeons, over the pile of bones, and under the chains of death." Jo was about to go after the booger paused, but then he took a deep breath and continued, "After the chains you will see a mouse hole and a funfetti cookie. Take a bite of the funfetti cookie and it will shrink you so you can fit throught the hole. Once through the hole you will grow. Go through the door on the left and it will take you to the Master."Go in peace, and I pray you not be murdered harshly and painfully."

Jo had just walked in the door to the castle when he saw the sign. "THE MASTER IS THROUGH THIS DOOR" Jo walked through the door and was immediently atttacked by a fat man in footie pjs yelling, "Always knock before entering!" "I'm sorry, Master," said Jo, "I was looking for a place to stay the night." Master considered this for a moment, before deciding. "Well, you will not find one here. Now leave and never repeat what you saw or I will send my flying monkeys after you!" Jo walked glumly out of the castle. He continued the way the noses where pointing, but soon he became to tired to continue and climbed inside a nose that turned out to be very comfy.

Once the morning came, he was surprised to see that the entrance to the nose was closed. Jo looked up with dread to see a giant nosetupus. The akward creature roared in his face, sending a wave of bad breath, booger smell, and nosetupus saliva at him, coating his face with a thick layer of gunk. "Ew," thought Jo. "I have to get out of here," So he took his donkey out of his pocket and used it to cut his way through the thick hair that was conforting yesterday, but in his way today. As he was cutting he thought that in a far away land he could hear a mouth screeching, but a nose world was quite enough to think about for someone who had just arrived. Jo had just seen the light from outside when he heard singing, but Jo did not want to get caught by the noseupus, so he jumped out and started to run towards the singing. He ran around the bend and saw a nose cell with a hole where its heart should be. Jo walked up to the nose cell and asked, "Why are you singing?" "It helps keep my mind off not having a heart," replied the nose cell. "Well, do you know how I can go back to the world I came from?" "Yes, I do, all you have to do is go to the Nose Wall and ask it your question and it will give you your anwser." said the nose cell.  "Well, I must be going to the Nose Wall then, and just follow the noses you said?" "Yes. Now, hurry before that nosetupus finds you." So Jo set out to find the Nose Wall.

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