S.M Imagines/Preferences

Remember me

A/N: Hey guys! How are you? This is one that's been sitting in my drafts for awhile and I've finally decided to publish it. Should I start doing QOTD' S  (question of the day) or just leave it??

Summary: Shawn coming to your funeral. (Sorry it's a sad one)

Warnings: Mentions suicide
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The strings vibrate letting out a sad melody as the young boy runs his fingers along them. He stares at his bedroom ceiling wondering what he could have done to prevent it. Maybe if he wasn't out with friends and ignoring your texts that day. If he had got to your house five minutes earlier. Different scenarios played in his head on how many ways he could have stopped it. He can still clearly hear the loud thud as he was sliding his shoes off. He soon found out you'd collapsed on the floor as he arrived, an empty pill bottle lying nearby. He can still hear your mother's cries through the phone to the nurse who had an ambulance on its way, as he cradled your limp body but he already knew it would be too late. He heard the news at the hospital as you were pronounced dead.

He was there. You were his best friend and you didn't even say goodbye.

"Shawn. You ready?" His Mum asks popping her through the doorway to see his sad figure.

He nods letting a single and final tear roll down his pale cheeks before sitting up and following his family to a place he never thought he needed to go to for you. They tried to comfort him on the way there but all the noise was blocked out, all he could think about was you.

As he walked through the large doors to the room. Your siblings saw him and ran to him almost immediately. "Hey Shawn." They said as they hugged him, avoiding his guitar that was slung over his shoulder. Your parents had requested he sang as you always loved it when he sang, he agreed but said if it was too much he wouldn't. They understood and hoped he would play. It was weird seeing everyone wearing black at your funeral. You had always told him that you wanted to wear a white dress to your funeral. To give people more hope and comfort to know you were in a better place. He wondered if You were wearing one.

To people that weren't close, you were such a lovely girl with a big heart. Nobody even noticed how broken you were and how easy it became to put on a fake smile. He noticed it and supported you even on your bad days, stopping you several times. Only, he didn't make it this time.

He felt bad for your parents. They'd always said whenever the topic of anxiety, depression or suicide came up and brushed it off. Telling you that people only did it for attention and it wasn't ever a real thing. Saying the parents being interviewed on their child's death were fake crying and were getting paid to do it, and that the child wasn't actually dead. Oh how they regret saying it now, realising it only made it worse for you.

He saw your Dad, who gave him a massive bear hug and greeted him hello and asking how he's doing. Hinting that he wished that this was all a dream and how he wanted to know how Shawn was dealing with this tragedy. "Shawn. This is for you." Your dad says after a while, giving Shawn a handwritten note. "We found it in her bedside table." He says patting Shawn on the shoulder and going off to see more guests who only try to give the poor man more empathy, making him feel worse.

Shawn sits down on one of the benches and rests his guitar gently next to him before opening the note.

Dear Shawn,
I have no other words than these. I'm sorry I had to go but I'm in a better state now. I know I didn't say goodbye but you would have just tried to prevent it and it would have only hurt more if you had. But I wrote this for you to keep, so here it goes.

Singing in your room and in the car to the latest songs and not caring who's listening.
Hazardous was your middle name as you constantly tripped on something or breaking something with that long body of yours.
Aaliyah! Stop trying to steal my best friend!
Winter days on the ice with you were always a blast. Even if I fell a million times.
No! We're not dating! Was a very common phrase much to our family and friends annoyance.

Promises were made and broken like how you promised me when we were five you would marry me.
Eggs on toast were what I made you whenever you were sick. Since I can't really cook but I can bake.
Texting each other till late even though we're neighbours.
Excitement when you first hit off on vine
Racing you home was always rigged and I swear you cheat every time. Or maybe it's your long legs?

Research helps when your writing an essay Shawn.
"Amazing dance moves Y/N, amazing dance moves." Was always your words as you'd catch me dancing in the kitchen while baking.
Use some 'Zing!' Zing?
Last summer how I was trying to tan poolside and you threw me in much to my disgust.

Memories. That's all these are.
Everlasting memories that will stay with you forever.
Never forget me, I know you won't though.
Don't be in grief as I'm always with you.
Every day I'll be watching you sing or be your usual self. So make a career out of singing. I'm sure you'll make it big.
So it all ends with three words that I never told a soul and never would have the courage to say but

I love you

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Tears stream down his face as he remembers the memories and laughs at how it all somehow spells his full name. It only hurt him more to see tear stains at the bottom of the letter and how your writing got messier as the letter went on. Showing it brought you great pain to write this and you were very upset, being blinded by tears most of the time. Everything in the letter seemed to blend together but those last three words replay in his mind like a broken record, over and over as he realised something.

He loved you too