Why? • Gaster!Sans x Human!Reader

Chapter 1- Fallen down

'When I was 13, I killed someone.

Not on purpose or anything...

I was merely walking home from school, not really paying attention to the world around me, when out of an abandoned alley, icy fingers wrapped their way around my wrist; barely even pulling me in before pinning me up against the rough texture of the ceramic brick wall.

A knife was at my throat, threatening me as it pierced into my skin. They growled something into my ear but I pushed them away with every ounce of energy I could summon. A blue aura struck from within my hand and a split second after there was an ominous crunch which echoed off the walls causing my spine to shiver in discomfort.

Something changed in me when that happened and I still dont understand to this day.

My whole body froze in utter fear as I didn't understand what had happened. I bent down slowly and prayed that the being was still alive. Their slightly parted, chapped lips showed no sign of breathing while their smooth skin was dead cold and pale underneath strands of soft brown hair.

My heart thrashed violently against my rib cage telling me to call someone while the revolting feeling in the pit in my stomach told me to run as far as possible.

And that's what I did.

I ran as fast as my legs could take me, the feeling of them numbing becoming more and more uncomfortable. The pain in my chest only grew and my eyesight only became more blurred from the guilty tears staining my cheeks. I wouldn't stop, though. It was only when my breath was beginning to be only small pants that I came to a halt and collapsed up in the mountains of Ebott.

I couldn't tell anyone nor did I want to tell anyone.

Not even once did the thought of returning back home cross my mind. I swore to myself that I'd never go back and made the mountains my home for few years. I eventually learnt how to control my powers too, which was fun.

I started practising at ungodly hours and gradually I found out that had rather magnificent skills. I could teleport to anywhere I wanted and there were these skull things that I could summon with a click from my fingers. A white light would burst out from its mouth wrecking whatever it came into contact. There was also a bone attack which confused me; throwing bones at unimaginable speed, fully impaling objects with only one movement. What's even more remarkable is that I had telekinesis; life had never been easier for me.

These powers were my source to survival and without them, I would have died out in the wilderness. I didn't use my powers for good, however. I stole to keep my hunger down and I killed to keep my identity hidden. It was overwhelming that I had been given so much power for an unknown reason; I felt special.

That didn't last long, though.

There was one thing my powers couldn't solve as the entire time guilt gnawed at me, the sickly feeling only getting worse and my state of mind only becoming weaker. Bit by bit I felt myself going insane, the real world slipping away from me. 

One night, the stars weren't out and the sky was just blank. Just pitch black darkness for miles. I wanted it to be over, everything to be over. I was sick of running away from my mistakes but it didn't change the fact that I didn't want to face what I had done. I was torn between myself and I wanted the continuous argument with myself to end.

So, I ended myself.

I climbed mount Ebott and jumped right off not even thinking twice. I felt relieved as the wind made my skin go tingly and numb while my hair whipped my face. My existence didn't matter; not in this world. I was only another pawn on this earth, made to be thrown out.

I prayed that I would just die, but I didn't.

I had landed on that bed of yellow flowers.

And then I met you.'

A/N: Hows this updated version? There will be more!

-sansisnotonfire ✨💕