If I Never Met Him

If He Never Saw Through Me

Catching feelings was not easy but thrilling, exciting, conflicting and even dangerous. It is 12:56 a.m and today is mother's day, all I can think about is him; Is he okay? Did he eat well? Is he resting? Is he tired? Is he watching Game of Thrones? Is he outside? Is he well covered?

I spent our entire friennemyship calling him idiot and it turns out, I fell in love with that same idiot. No matter how much he said I was the real idiot for thinking that he did not know about my feelings before I even confessed, I still think he is the idiot for that idiot did not understand that every time I called him idiot, I meant to say I love you.

I remember very well the day he saw through me and made me aware that he did; we were about to rehearse for a sketch and were discussing on the costumes that were going to be needed and I saw one of my best friends pulling him aside and I caught them sneaking glances at me; that was how I really knew that my secret was out.

The worst thing was that I was on my time of the month and I was PMsing. My english teacher had me on a pep talk about how I should not be that down upon such small things for I will also have to face big things in life and all I did was nod away while mentally adding on how the big issue here was him finally aware of my unspoken feelings and I just trying to be nonchalant and ignorant.

He took me away with a tight grip on my hands and I knew what was oncoming and all I did was keep blabbing how I didn't want to listen, I didn't want to hear.

He took me away from the crowd, had me cornered while I looked anywhere but in his eyes because I knew if I did, I would be a goner. Then again, he knew me better and thus demanded of me to look into his eyes and I tried to glance at him without giving away how it made me feel weak in my knees.

"I could do this all day", he said and that reminded me of Captain America and the meaning of this phrase changed at this exact moment.

Embarassed, flustered, cheeks blushing red and a thumping heart, I could feel my body and my soul connecting and it was thrilling, blissful but also scary.

But then he proceeded by making me laugh at how we cannot work for our babies would not turn out right as he is a kryptonian while I am a Jupitian. And I agreed teasingly to it, saying "Yes, you're right. It wouldn't work."

But it has already been just a few days ever since my feelings got out of their hideaway and I have never felt much more happy. For one who said that it would not work, it certainly is.

However, right about now, all I can write about is how much of a little girl I was when facing the one for whom my heart yearned for.

I will spend my weekend missing him.