I woke up with my head banging only having a few memories of what happened a few hours ago. I run my fingers along my scars and a memory popped into head. I close my eyes to visualize it better.
All I can see is me sitting there with tears rushing down my face and beside me is a blade. I feel my heart beat faster as the memory goes on. My eyes still shut, I see a man. He has long brown hair and brown eyes. He's yelling at me. "Stop I love you there is no need to self-inflict pain. I'm here. I'll always be here!"
I don't remember his face in detail, but I see tears. He comes closer. I feel arms around me and I cry a little harder. I start breathing heavily. If there is one thing I remember it's that there was no guy here last night. But why did the hug feel so real? I open my eyes and feel tears running down my face.
I turn on my light to get ready for school. I look in the mirror. My straight dirty blonde hair was all in my face, then I start to look up and down at myself. I look at my old scars and my soon to be new ones. I take off my Pac Man tee-shirt to look at more of my scars. Once I've had enough of looking at myself and feeling Saddened. I began searching for my black skinny jeans.
I found my clothes. I'm wearing my grey pierce the veil pull-over and my black skinny jeans with my all black high tops.
Once I'm ready for school I suddenly feel more down. I know as soon as I get to school all I'm going to hear is 'go kill yourself. You're a slut. Go die in a hole. You're an ugly fucking cow. You're never going to amount to anything.'
I don't blame them. I mean who could love a girl with scars. I didn't purposely show myself to the world. Some people are just observant and then they like to talk about what they observed. Me.
I take off my shoes and pants and put on sweat pants. I text my best friend Beth and tell her,"Hey can't come get you. Sick."
Beth and I have been friends since 1st grade. She had long red hair and big green eyes that melted your heart when I met her. Now she has black hair and blue contacts that can make it hard to breathe. She was the only one who talked to me besides Colton, but he moved in the ninth grade. We were the weird ones. The older we got the more bizarre we became, from our different hair colors, and piercings every month. We liked who we were until people felt the need to bully us. When high school started all we ever heard is how "emo" we were but, honestly we were nothing but ourselves. Once everyone made it clear that they didn't like us all we had was each other.
She didn't text back. So I just lied in my bed covered in blankets; it kind of felt like I was hiding. I don't know why. I don't have to worry about getting caught for skipping. My dad worked from 5 in morning to 10 o'clock at night. My mom travels with her work so, she maybe comes home once every two months.
~~~
It's about two o'clock when I woke up from my nap. I occasionally check my phone to see the time, and get up to use the bathroom other than that I haven't moved. I'm about to turn on my side when my door flies open.
"What the hell, Casey Ann Marie Wilson! You. Are. Not. Fricking. Sick!" I heard Beth shout, as I sink into my covers.
"Yes I am" I say in a scratchy voice fake coughing.
"Just say it. You didn't want to go to school today because you knew you that asshole would get the best of you?" She said and her voice softened because she knew. She knew I was going to have break down and leave anyways.
There was always that special one who got me the worst. Her name was Nicole. All she ever did was call me names and shove me into lockers. One time it got so bad I had a bruise on my back. I went to the principal's office about it and he told me 'I have already talked to Nicole about it and she said it was an accident and that she'd never do it again
"Yes now will you cuddle me and make me feel better?"
I know it sounds weird but Beth was the only one I could count on to make me feel better. I didn't have a boyfriend or anybody else. Beth was the only one who could calm me down. She was my other half. The person who made me myself was her. She brought out the best in me.
"Yes, I will but you can't let them get to you. Promise me? I love you. Okay?" She says taking of her shoes and putting on our favorite song 'Hold on till may by Pierce the veil'.
"I promise." I said while scouting over making room for her my voice sounding crackly.
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Hello. So there is my first chapter it's kind of crappy I know. I don't have a set time to write but I will continue. To the side should be a picture of Emily Osment she is going to be Casey. I feel as if this chapter was sloppy but it's okay. By the way this was not proof read so excuse my mistakes. This is my first book on Wattpad so any comments and critique would be nice.
Please and thank you.
