The Untouchables

Chapter 5 -- Unforgetable

February (4 months earlier)
"Just gimme you, just gimme you, just gimme you, that's all I wanna do!" I belted out in my room alone. I had always liked to listen to music while doing homework. I wanted to have fun as I attempted to do calculus. Besides, Senior year was halfway over, I was already accepted early into NYU, nothing mattered anymore.
The apartment was quiet, apart from my terrible vocals. Dad was still at work and mom had gone to the vet again for Ariel, our adorable dog. She kept getting more and more sick, but somehow she had survived months longer than expected. I wasn't sure what I would do if I lost her. She had been like a best friend to me since I was little.
As I typed out some very disorganized information about the American Civil War, my phone began to buzz. Zoe the caller ID read. It was strange, she almost never called me, although our snapchat streak was almost up to 300 days. I paused the music and picked up the phone. "Hello," I chirped. I was humming the melody of the song just playing, soft enough so that Zoe wouldn't hear.
"Taryn," she said quietly. At the sound of her somber tone, I stopped humming so I could fulfill my duty as a best friend. .
"What is it," I asked urgently. I thought through all of the possible responses. She was probably just overreacting to something really dumb like getting an A- on a paper. Or maybe it was drama with her most recent hookup, whom I had never actually met because he was living in California. My heart began racing at the thought of something even worse. What if she had somehow heard that Ariel had died, or that one of our friends had gotten into a terrible accident.
"You haven't seen it?" she asked in disbelief, not giving me a straight answer.
"Depends..." I tried to think of any recent drama I had heard of that was really terrible. Nothing rang a bell.
"Check Facebook," was all she said. I followed her instructions, openning a new tab on my computer, and went to my feed.
My heart sank as my eyes flitted across the page. I didn't have to look very hard to see what she had been talking about. It was a picture of me. Naked. My face wasn't in the picture but the belly button piercing everyone knew I had, thanks to countless pictures of me in crop tops or bikini's, was obvious on my stomach.
"Zoe... I," my voice cracked. I couldn't even finish my sentence. Tears welled up in my eyes. Every inch of my flesh felt numb, as if someone had picked it all off.
"I'm here if you need to talk," Zoe said. I could barely hear her. I nodded, though I knew she wouldn't see, and hung up the phone.
I tried to scream, but all that came out were silent sobs. How could someone do that? How could Gabe do that?
I rolled over on my side and tucked my knees into my chest. I grabbed my phone and scrolled through my contacts. My thumb hovered over Gabey <3; all I could think about was applying the explosive state of uncontrollable emotions to memories of him. Without a second thought, I threw down my phone and shoved my feet into the nearest pair of shoes, which happened to be flip flops, but I didn't care.
Armed with only my fists, I ran out of the apartment and down nine flights of stairs. As soon as I exited the lobby, a gust of cold air swirled around me. I had only been wearing flip-flops, leggings and an old sweatshirt. It was a brisk 26˚ out, but a combination of my prior numbness and newfound adrenaline pushed me forward, regardless of outside forces.
I ran every red light I had come across, almost being hit by at least six cars. Finally I reached my destination: a decadent building, not unlike my own. I mumbled a quick hello to the doorman and rushed myself up five more flights of stairs. I could barely feel myself panting, my heart had already been beating so hard.
My fist banged against the clean, white door, even before my brain could register that I was moving. I wasn't sure I was ready to face whatever came from behind the door, but once it opened all of the pain I was feeling was replaced by the purest, white-hot hatred and anger I had ever felt.
Gabe's face appeared. My hand wanted so badly to reach up and slap him, but I forced my brain to stay in control.
"Hello Gabe," I stated firmly, with no trace of weakness leaking through, but inside of me were hundreds of screams and cries for help echoing over and over.
The look of fear on Gabe's face was priceless. A part of me wanted to tease him.
"How could you do that?" I asked what I had been wondering, still managing to keep my composure. He looked down, frowning. "Answer me."
"I didn't think it would happen, not like this," he remained guarded, trying to dance around the subject we were both desperate to avoid, but that wasn't what I ran half a mile through the cold to hear.
"What else did you think would happen? I trusted you with one of the most intimate things a person can offer, and you just gave it up." My eyes stung, the tears wanted to erupt, but I wouldn't let them.
"I told them not to share it," he almost whispered.
"Take the blame, Gabe. You're the one who sent it to your friends in the first place. Was I honestly just a hookup to brag about?"
"No, shit, no. I love you, Taryn," he practically begged. Desperation seethed through every word that rolled off his filthy tongue. I wouldn't cave in.
"That's funny, because if you had ever truly loved me, my nudes wouldn't be on the internet for everyone to see." I walked away. I was so done with Gabe.
Pain began to prickle sharply across my body. Once I was in the elevator, out of Gabe's earshot, I totally broke down. Tears poured at such an intensity I couldn't see. Everything had become blurry. My head was spinning. I could barely tell up from down. Nothing made sense anymore. Gabe was supposed to be there for me. I thought he had really loved me. I thought I really knew him. My chest rose and fell. It felt like I was drowning, in my own pain, tears, and stupid mistakes. I shouldn't have sent those pictures to him. How could I have been so stupid?
I walked down the street full of so much shame. The numbness still shielded me from the cold. I looked at all the people around me. Everyone was on their way to somewhere. I felt as if they were all staring at me. I felt as if they could see my naked bod, frail and weak.
I reached into my empty pocket. A ghost of my phone was all that I found. I had left it on my bed.
I tried to breath, but I kept choking up tears. I wanted so badly for my mom to be there for me. I just needed her to hold me. She was what motivated me to run the rest of the way home.
I had to ask the new doorman, Daniel, for the spare key since I had stupidly rushed out of the apartment with nothing. Once upstairs I flopped onto my bed, facing the blank ceiling.
The fear that gripped my heart forced me to pull my computer onto my lap. My heart racing, I pulled the top open. The brightness of the screen flashed to a start. Staring at me, once again, was the picture. I would never be able to get it out of my head.
I refreshed the page. Sorry this image has been removed, it read. I was still able to look at the comments.
The words on the page felt like punches to my stomach; hundreds of punches that all blurred together. I wanted to be able to tell them all to go away, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.
Slut. Skank. Hoe. Whore. That was all I saw. That was all I thought. That was all I breathed.
My head was spinning so fast I had to run to the bathroom.
I looked down to find the toilet filled with my own vomit. I hadn't even realized what had happened. I couldn't taste anything in my mouth except for bitter self-loathing. .
I opened the medicine cabinet, searching for anything to help, but I had run out of pills at a party two nights before. The only thing left to do was call my mom.
One ring was all it took. "Hi mom," I tried to form my words quickly, still gasping from my constant crying.
"Taryn, honey, what is it? I can barely understand you," she was as calm and graceful as ever.
"I fucked up mom," I sobbed, "I fucked up." I hugged the pillows on the bed around me.
"What happened? It's gonna be okay." But how could she even say that before knowing.
"It was, it was a stupid picture. I didn't mean for this to happen."
"What? For what to happen?" she asked, more frantic now.
I took a breath. I couldn't confirm that what I was saying had really been happening. "It was Gabe. I sent him this picture."
"Ok, what was in it?" she asked patiently. I could hear the horns honking in the background of her end. I was able to breath if I just focused on the ambient sounds.
"It was," breath, "me, without clothes." On her end there was only silence. "I know, I know, it was so stupid. God, I am so stupid." I completely broke down in tears once again.
"Taryn, no, don't worry. It's not your fault. I will be home in two minutes. Love you." She hung up.
What happened after that became somewhat of a blur. Mom came home and helped me into the bath. She undressed me and everything. Sat down and talked with me while I stayed in the water, distracting me from what I had no desire to think about. She fed me. She was everything I needed. But one more curve came at me after that.
Mom and I were eating dinner together at the dining room table downstairs. She had cooked me a nice and classic grilled cheese and tomato soup. She was telling me about her day when we heard keys turning in the door. "Hello to both my favorite girls," my father said when he walked into the apartment.
"Hi dad," I mumbled. I had barely spoken a word since mom got home.
"Taryn, what's wrong?" my father asked. His hands wrapped around my shoulders. He looked down into my eyes.
"I don't wanna talk about it," I looked to the floor and removed myself from his grasp. I hated not talking to my dad, but I couldn't go through the trauma of retelling my story over and over again.
"Why don't you go to your room, Taryn. I'll talk to your father." I walked upstairs, but stopping just short of my room. The small hallway was the perfect place to eavesdrop.
My parents started with the usual hellos, but soon my father was anxious to get on to the serious business. I had usually admired how upfront he was, but hearing his kind voice slice across the air gave me chills. "It appears that our daughter's nudes are now spreading all around her school," my mother said, almost nonchalantly.
"What?" dad questioned furiously. His voice nearly cracked. The sound of his shoes pacing across the hardwood floor stopped. The air became empty for a moment. My mother was about to reassure him, I thought, but I heard his shoes again. They were speeding toward me. I was somehow able to make it to my bed before my dad saw me.
"Why the hell are there pictures of you all over school?" he yelled. I had never seen him so  I angry. His booming voice echoed in my head. I was wondering just the same thing he was, and we had both come to the same conclusion: "What's wrong with you Taryn? Don't you know how dumb it is to send pictures of yourself to some boy?"
I didn't move or speak. There was nothing to say, nothing to add or argue. He had said it perfectly.

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Yeah, so, that happened.  What did you think? Was it surprising or did I drop enough hints for it to be obvious?
Side note: for some reason, when I copy and paste into wattpad, it neutralizes everything, in other words it takes all italics and bold words out. It's really annoying and, believe it or not, can change entire meanings of the story. I may have missed some of these changes in the story so far, but hopefully it hasn't changed your experience with this story.
Again, than you so much for reading.