The Untouchables

Chapter 9 -- Unprepared

After I ran and showered, I came out of my room for some lunch. My mother and Claire had once again left Zach and I alone to go out. Claire had mentioned that she really wanted to go shopping along fifth avenue. This time the abandonment was less of a punishment. Zach and my outing to the park the day before had really opened my eyes about both of us. I needed to stop worrying about all the little things that could go wrong, and start thinking about all the amazing parts of life. But it was easier said than done.
"Morning," I greeted Zach once I got into the kitchen. He was eating his way through a bagel with lox and cream cheese.
He looked up to me and smiled. "Hey, so what's this Gala thing tonight?" He really liked to cut to the chase.
"It's just some event for the important donors at the MoMA. It's a rich people thing. You don't have to go if you don't want to," I told him, trying to sound nonchalant. It was still very uncomfortable for me to talk about my status out loud, but especially with Zach. I wasn't sure how I wanted him to respond. If he didn't want to come, I would have to be alone on one of the most painful nights of my life, but if for some reason he decided to come, people would judge me more than they already would have.
"Erm," he paused to think, "I guess I'll come." My heart dropped. I honestly did not think he was going to say that. Why did he say that? There was no possible reason for why he would want to be stuck at a hugely expensive event with a bunch of people he thought were "stuffy tossers," just a fraction of the words he had used to describe me.
"Wow, okay," I said, sounding more
surprised than I had hoped to be. I opened the fridge to find leftover pasta from the night before.
"What? Is it really that surprising?" Zach sounded slightly offended. I began to prepare the pasta and its sauce in a bowl.
"Yeah, actually. Just yesterday you barely let me buy you a hot dog because of some weird superiority thing," I stated obviously as I placed the bowl of food into the microwave.
"Well maybe I just want to understand you better." His words made me lose track of what number I was pressing into the keypad in the microwave. Breath. There was no way he just said that. A small smile crept onto my face. I thanked every god I could think of that I wasn't facing Zach at that moment. The huge nagging I had felt about Zach's danger had become only a tingle in the back of my neck, but it was starting to blend into a good kind of tingle.
"What would you like to know?" I asked, trying to stay calm. I found my way back to the correct numbers and punched them into the microwave. I watched the bowl spin around as Zach spoke.
"I dunno, I guess I'm just wondering what it's like to live like this," he responded thoughtfully. He put his dishes into the sink and began washing them. Clearly he hadn't quite been open to exploring every aspect of my lifestyle.
"Just so you know, you're going to have to wear a tux or something."
The microwave beeped and I pulled out my food. "Ow!" I screeched and dropped the ceramic bowl, only to have it break. I had overheated the pasta, the bowl was boiling hot. I could feel the skin on my hands burning. I jumped over to the sink and pushed Zach aside. I had to run my hand under cold water immediately.
"Jesus, how are you still alive? You've managed to hurt yourself twice in less than 24 hours," Zach half laughed.
"I promise I'm not usually like this," I grinned, my cheeks getting hot. I felt self conscious that he was watching me rinse my fingers. It was a weird thing to be self conscious about, but I couldn't help it.
After drying my hands, the skin was still very red and sensitive. It wasn't a terrible burn, but it hurt like hell. Zach began to clear up the mess I had made. I let him help me without putting up a fight. I watched his hand work as he delicately picked up each piece of the bowl and threw it into the trash. His face was concentrated, serious. He was good at helping.
"So, about this tux," he grinned when he finished cleaning.
****
I opened the door to my closet. An array of expensive clothes were spread out and organized according to color and brand. In the back was a dress covered by a garment bag. I had the dress set aside specifically for this night. I wanted my re-entry into the gala world to be grand, my princess moment. I was, after all, going to have to see just about everyone who I'd wanted to avoid, apart from Zoe, of course.
I was actually looking forward to seeing Zoe. We had been texting every night around what was mid-afternoon for me and the extremely late hours of the night for her, late meaning three am.
Even though we had discussed any and all details pertaining to the gala that night, I still hadn't told her that Zach was coming with me. I tried, I really did. I even wrote it into the message bar, but my finger refused to hit send. It was all too nerve wracking.
I unzipped the bag around my dress and marveled at the garment's beauty. It was a black floor length gown with black lace covering my collar bone and forming largely open back. I put the dress on as quickly as possible without ripping any part of it.
It felt different from when I had first tried it on. I looked so elegant, so grown up, but I didn't feel that way. I had felt like I was jumping into the fountain in the park again. In the mirror I could see some of that girl peeking out of the too serious ensemble.
I picked out some random pieces of jewelry to go with the dress. I was convinced that anything would look good, so long as I was wearing that exact dress. I wore only a minimal amount of makeup, just enough to conceal my most basic flaws.
"Taryn, the cab is waiting for us!" I heard my mother's muffled voice yell at me through the door.
"I'll be right there," I said, hurrying to frantically get all else that I needed. I stuffed my feet into the nearest sandals I could find. There was no way I would wear heels all night; Zoe would just have to take care of it for the both of us. I grabbed the clutch I had set up with all my stuff and ran out of the room just as I heard the door closing.
I was trying to hold up my dress as I ran down the stairs, but of course I just had to move the wrong way on the very last step. I was picturing myself flying forward and hitting the hardwood floor face down, but the vision failed to come true. Zach was there, as he had been all the times before, to catch me. His firm arms wrapped around me lifted me to my feet. I could feel his muscles through the fabric of his tuxedo. It was getting a little weird honestly, how Zach was always just there.
"Oops," I mumbled, attempting to straighten myself out. My untamable curls had managed to get all over my face. I didn't understand what was happening to me; I wasn't a generally clumsy person, but I had managed to injure myself a total of three times in the presence of Zach. I wondered where I would be if he hadn't been there. In my defense, the first two incidents were almost entirely his fault.
Zach reached his hand up to brush away my hair. The way that his fingers touched my skin so delicately was unlike anything I had ever experienced. Gabe was always so rough, so greedy, when I looked back on it. Zach peered into my eyes. I looked down quickly, desperate to avoid him. "Sorry," he whispered, moving his hand to his side.
"It's okay," I told him the truth. I was always so quick to run away from him, but I wanted his contact. For once I allowed myself to want him, thinking about the good what if's.
"Our mums went downstairs already. We should go," Zach instructed. Once downstairs we got into the cab just as all four of us had the first night Zach and Claire had come: the three of them in the back and me in the front. That first night, the setup was much appreciated, but this time I wasn't sure. There was no way of knowing whether I wanted to confront him about whatever was happening with us, or whether we should both just avoid it all together.
The ride to the museum was a blur of my thoughts regarding Zach, but I couldn't quite put them together. By the end of it, I decided to just let the pieces fall where they would. I thanked the driver and stepped out of the car.
Paparazzi were everywhere. I didn't miss that part of these kinds of events. I wasn't exactly one for being the center of attention anymore, but I would have to deal with it.
Where r u? I texted Zoe. I waited a few minutes, but there was no reply. She was probably chatting up some handsome, mysterious strangers. The second Zoe reached legal age, she was all over practically every male specimen she saw. I wouldn't be surprised if she had come back from Greece a homewrecker. I just loved her confidence, and everything else about her, I always wished I had her spirit, especially when it came to Gabe. It looked like I was just going to have to get through the chaos of the event without my best friend.
I took a deep breath and put on my biggest smile. I was trying to pay attention to things that were only in my forward line of sight, but the worst possible person that could have came right at that moment appeared in my field of vision. Gabe. I struggled to breath calmly, practicing as many breathing techniques from my therapist as I could. Gabe no longer had anything over me. I would be totally fine. I just had to breath. But how the hell was a bit of air in and out of my lungs supposed to make everything okay?
As if he had read my mind, Zach stepped by my side. His presence immediately calmed me, which was strange, all things considered. "This is a lot more than I was expecting," he had to shout a little just so that I could hear him over the sounds of people and flashes of cameras.
For the first time that night I was able to admire Zach in a tuxedo, which he had borrowed from my dad's closet. It fit him almost perfectly. He had even put a little bit of gel in his hair. His curls were swept up and back into a quiff of sorts, but not quite. I had to admit, he cleaned up well, not that he looked bad before. I could get used to this new Zach, but I liked the usual, cool Zach better.
"I know. It amazes me every time," I yelled back.
"Blimey, was that George Clooney?" Zach exclaimed. I turned to see where he was looking, but if George Clooney had truly been there, he had already walked into the mob of flashes.
"Probably," I shrugged. Famous people were at these events a lot.
He held his elbow out and at first I was confused, but I realized he wanted me to take it. "Quite the gentleman," I said as I slipped my arm through his. He looked very pleased with himself.
We walked together towards the bright, flashing lights. It felt as though both of our hearts pounded together with the same panicky beat.
We trudged through the dozens of photographers and finally got into the museum, which was, thankfully, much quieter. Everything seemed so familiar in the museum, where I loved to spend my time. Art was what I hoped to study in college, thanks to my mother. I liked to sketch out ideas when I was bored, but more often I could be found studying up in my mother's old art history textbooks.
"Taryn?" I heard a familiar voice say. Sadly, it was not Zoe. No, this voice was much deeper, with a hint of jackass. "I didn't know you would be here," he continued. My stomach dropped. It felt like the Hulk had punched me in the stomach. Remembering what had happened between us was the most painful thing I had experienced in the past few days, even worse than stepping on a piece of broken glass. Seeing Gabe's stupid, smug grin made me want to punch a hole right through it. But I had to stay level headed.
"Well I am here," I almost snapped as I turned to face him. He was with a girl. I felt sorry for her; he was probably just using her.
"And who might this be?" he said, an air of disgust present as he nodded to Zach.
"This is—"
"I'm Zach," Zach stated firmly, "her date." The second he said "date," my insides turned into mush. Zach's confidence was, well, sexy. He didn't stutter or pause. I was his date and that was a fact. The surprise in Gabe's face was priceless. His jaw had practically dropped down to the floor. I think Zach's accent pushed him over the edge just the right amount. I had a hot date and nobody could kick me off my pedestal.
"Well if you'll excuse us, we have a party to attend," I smiled fakely. Zach said his polite, if not forceful, goodbyes and we turned away from Gabe and his date.
"So, an ex?" Zach guessed.
"Yeah, a really shitty one," I emphasized "shitty" for good measure.
As soon as we got as far away from them as possible, I started to hyperventilate a little. I thought I was going to cry, but I really didn't want to look bad in front of Zach.
911, 1st floor bathroom, I texted Zoe. She had to see it. "I'll be right back," I told Zach and ran, more like hobbled, to the bathroom in my long dress
Before I could register what was happening I had run into a stall. I blacked out for a second and then I saw the vomit in the toilet and I felt the tears on my face. I couldn't breath. I really hadn't expected to have a panic attack, it just sort of hit me like a truck. Although, that really was no different from any other panic attack.
"Taryn, I'm here," I heard Zoe's voice. She calmed me down a bit, but my heart wouldn't stop racing. My whole body was shaking. I couldn't think or breathe or move.
Every time I closed my eyes, Gabe was there, taunting me. Everything came rushing back.
"Second...stall," I called out in between shaky breaths. I pushed myself against the wall, trying to stop my convulsions. Zoe was quick to come in. Her arms wrapped around my body and I finally began to focus on my breathing. In, out, in, out... My tears kept coming.
"Shh, just breath. It's okay I'm here now," Zoe soothed me.
We stood in silence for ten minutes just holding each other, just breathing. Zoe was the best person to be around whenever I had panic attacks. Even though her usual attitude was boisterous and carefree, she was really protective of the people she loved.
"So, you wanna tell me what happened," she asked once I calmed down.
"Gabe happened," I rolled my eyes.
"Was it really that bad?"
"No actually," I smiled, thinking of Zach's valiant efforts. That's when I remembered, "Crap!"
"What? Is everything okay?" Zoe asked, concerned.
I burst out of the stall. In the mirror, I looked like a wreck. My eyes were bloodshot, my mascara was dripping all across my face, and my lipstick was smudged. Thankfully all of my insides had gotten successfully into the toilet, but my mouth tasted horrible. "I need you to make me look good in five minutes," a nearly impossible request, I knew, but I had seen Zoe do it before on several occasions. She was basically a hangover goddess.
She brought out the emergency kit that  she always had in her purse. "Already done," she said confidently. She started by removing any out of place makeup, then gave me some eye drops and helped me conceal my puffy eyes. Finally, I brushed my teeth, getting the horrible taste out of my mouth.
"There good as new." I looked in the mirror, she was right.
"You're, like,  my hero, you know that right?" I looked just as I had before, maybe even better. I hoped Zach wouldn't be too disappointed that I had left him alone in a museum filled with stuck up rich people for 20 minutes.
"Well, duh! Anyway, what's the rush?"
"I kinda brought Zach," I said for the first time with no shame.
"And you failed to mention this? I can't believe you," Zoe's excitement made me feel even better about Zach, though I would normally feel even more shy.
"Zoe, you should've seen him when Gabe came up to us all I'm-the-coolest-person-ever. Zach called me his date. It was so unbelievably hot." I had become a blubbering mess. Zach was making me different, and I wasn't totally opposed to it.
"Aw Taryn I'm so happy for you. Now, take me to him," she demanded.
"Fine, but don't say anything stupid," I said, turning to leave the bathroom.
"Please, what would I say?" Her sarcasm made us both laugh. Zoe had a way of being very straight forward. A lot of guys liked that, but it could be quite embarrassing with Zach, with whom I already wasn't on totally good terms. "Also, I don't really want him to know about this," I added, referring to the whole panic attack situation. I didn't need Zach to think I was a total head case.
Zoe nodded faithfully and walked me out of the bathroom.

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Such Zaryn feels ;)) I'm so in love with them honestly. Just a wait cuz next week things will get even more interesting...
Cool, so I attached a pic of what I imagine Taryn's dress to look like. Irl it would be a bit more elegant and dressed up, but you get the idea. Sorry that means skipping out on a pic of a hot guy, but I've got a special one lined up for the next update so stay tuned.
Thanks again for reading. Please spread the word about The Untouchables!